christmas in peru

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of my family and friends!

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve last written, and lots of exciting things have happened!  Most of my activities have finished for the moment because of the holiday season and summer vacation, but the past week was busy with Christmas preparations.  Perú has very strong Christmas customs, and I really enjoyed immersing in the local traditions.  There were also lots of bittersweet moments as the joy of the holidays clashed with the hard realities faced by this community.

During the week leading up to Christmas, the city was busy withchocolotadas, which are celebrations, generally for children, with hot chocolate and panetón, a sweet bread with dried fruit and gummy chunks in it.  On Monday the youth movement in our parish hosted a chocolotada for children in need in our parish zone, and I wrote about it in our community blog here: http://www.iwmissions.blogspot.com/

My week was also busy with rehearsals for the Christmas play, put on by TEFA (TeatroFranciscano), the theater group in our parish.  Due to a bit of a personnel shortage, I played Elizabeth, then an innkeeper, then a shepherd.  I’m really enjoying getting to know the members of the theater group… they have lots of good energy and it is so apparent that sharing the spirit of love and community through theater makes them feel alive, and this brings me life as well. 

Our Christmas festivities began with our theater performance at 9:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve, just before the Mass.  It went well and the Mass was beautiful with the choir singing Christmas songs.  It is Peruvian custom to gather with family Christmas Eve night and wait for midnight of Christmas Day, when the celebration really beings!  We had been invited by the family of our friend Analí to join them for their family celebration, so we headed over to their house after Mass, arriving around 11 p.m.  They had arrived just a half hour or so earlier from selling things downtown all day (because the downtown is packed with people on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day), so they were pretty tired but in good spirits (despite low sales… there hasn’t been much fish lately so there’s not a lot of money in Chimbote… the whole city’s economy depends on the fishing industry). We hung out with them until midnight, talking and watching Gregory, their 7-year-old son, play with sparklers.  Then at midnight, the custom is to give everyone a Christmas hug (family and close friends), place Baby Jesus in the nativity scene (which they asked Kelli and I to do!), light fireworks (the whole neighborhood was full of the sights and sounds of fireworks... it was crazy!), and eat Christmas dinner.  Our Christmas dinner consisted of turkey (delicious… though they said they had never eaten turkey for Christmas before… probably because it is much more expensive than chicken), French fries (with mayonnaise and salsa, of course), lettuce salad, hot chocolate (which they drink tons of during Christmas, even though it’s summer here… and they make the real kind with bars of chocolate, milk, water, cinnamon, and cloves), and panetón.  It was a great meal.  Then we sat and talked for a while… and around 1:30 or so Analí received a phone call asking if she could come sing at a Christmas party (she sings as a side job).  Even though she was feeling terrible and very tired after working all day, she said she had to go because she is trying to earn enough money to get an ultrasound of her baby (she’s six months pregnant and the father wants nothing to do with it).  The party happened to be close to our house, so we left in a taxi with her and came home.  It was a great night, and they are a wonderful family… but it is hard to feel really good about it having to end like that.

We had been told prior to Christmas Eve night that the custom is to celebrate all night long.  Well, we got home around 2 assuming our night was over, when five minutes later the phone rang.  A few of our friends were wanting to go out!  So we did…. We went to a friend’s house and listened to music, danced a bit, and talked… until about 7 a.m.  It was super fun!  It wasn’t quite as fun three hours later, when we woke up to get ready for Christmas lunch at the Sisters’… but definitely worth it! 

Christmas Day, then, we had lunch at the Sisters’ with a group of about 20 religious men and women from different congregations in Chimbote.  It was a lot of fun getting to know a few sisters and a brother sitting at my table, and the food was great!  After lunch we played cards for a couple hours with some Dominican Sisters from the states.  And after that I got to Skype with my family!

That about sums up the festivities.  Now we await New Year’s Eve, which we hear is an even bigger all-night celebration, beginning at midnight with dinner with family, after which everyone goes out to celebration in the streets with friends and neighbors.  Should be a great time!

It is definitely difficult to be so far from family during the holidays, and I miss them a lot!  I am very blessed, though, to have already begun to form mi familiaChimbotana who help me to feel welcome and loved in my home here.

If you aren’t tired of reading yet, I again encourage you to check out our community blog (site above).  I hope you all are feeling the love of family, friends, and God this holiday season!  

a bit of economics

 My desire to volunteer abroad has always been rooted in a strong belief in a preferential option for the poor. That can mean many things and can be explained in many ways, but for Catholics it comes from our most fundamental call to serve God. While he was alive, Jesus told his disciples very plainly that when they acted concretely with love for the poorest members of their community they were serving him. It all seems a bit abstract, which is the point. I continually fail to grasp this concept, except when I actually live it out. That’s when it becomes so clear.

 

I want to share a story with you with as many details as possible, not to try to stun anybody or make your feel guilty, but just to paint as good of picture as I can of what it’s like. Yesterday I went with two social workers who work for LENTCH, a program for children who are or have been working on the streets (selling stuff, singing or dancing, etc.), to visit some homes of the children. (Side note: I think this is going to be one of my regular activities in addition to the parish work). We paid four soles (Peruvian currency, pronounced SOUL-ace, more to come about that below) to travel up to Villa Leslie, a recently “developed” area of the city, with sand streets, no electricity yet, and limited water access. One of the homes we visited was that of a mother and probably five or six of her ten children, at least three of whom are grown women with children of their own, all living in the same structure. I say “structure” so as not to give you an image of a typical house in the U.S. The walls are made of a woven reed-like material, and two rooms had roofs of the same material. I only saw into one of the two rooms, which had an old, small twin bed with a thin, dirty mattress. The rest was a large open area, serving as the family room, play room, and chicken coop. The turkeys and chickens roam freely among the children, with the rabbits in a hutch against one wall. The mother tells us that the large turkey will bring 200 soles when she sells it. I remember just a few days ago when we were dismayed by the high price of turkey for Thanksgiving.

 

On the positive side, this family had been selected by LENTCH to receive a prefabricated wooden house, and we were there to deliver to news that it will be delivered next week. While the social workers were explaining this to the mother, one of the children came in from behind the house and told us that the neighbor girl (also part of our program) had been bit on the leg by a dog. When she finally came in we saw the gash, not huge but definitely cause to worry. Long story short, I ended up cleaning it, with a bit of water (generally not clean), soap, and a T-shirt rag. As I wiped the wound as rigorously as I had the heart to, Lourdes remained expressionless. I knelt there in the sand, trying to block her leg from the wind, wiping the blood, thinking there was no way I could get all the dirt out of her wound, hoping the dog didn’t have any diseases, wondering what was the likelihood that her mother would take her to the hospital, picturing the large bottle of peroxide and tube of Neosporin sitting unused in my own home, balancing the soap on my leg so as not to drop it in the sand as well. When we contemplate the crucifixion of Jesus, we wonder, what would I have done if I had been there? Surely I would have done something to help, we think. What a shame that I wasn’t there to wipe Jesus’ tears. I tell you, Jesus is crucified every moment of every day. That’s why we have a “preferential option for the poor,” but we only generalize with a title like that to make it more accessible. We really have a preferential option to wipe the blood from Lourdes’ leg.

 

So I didn’t begin this blog entry intending to go into all that… but sometimes it’s best to let flow whatever seems to be coming! Part of a preferential option for the poor is the attempt to walk in solidarity with communities living in poverty. We could talk about the philosophy of solidarity for hours, but I merely want to highlight part of it from a very practical point of view!

 

Most families here make small amounts of money each day, so most things can be bought in tiny quantities. We try to purchase our food daily in small quantities to practice this type of living as well. To give you an idea of money here, we (my community) came up with the following list. The Peruvian currency is called the Nuevo Sol. The exchange rate right now is 2.77 soles to one dollar, so one sol is about $0.36. Seems like very little, but (thank goodness) a little sol can go a long way!

 

Things you can buy for 1 nuevo sol

• 10 medium-sized tomatoes (1 kilo)
• ¼ kilo of oatmeal (about 4 cups)
• ¾ kilo of rice (about 5 cups)
• 1 kabob of anticuchos (beef heart, fire-grilled to order)
• 10 individually-wrapped Halls
• 9 pieces of bread (freshly baked twice daily)
• 5 eggs (gathered from the chickens on the roof)
• 8 mini bananas
• 1 order of French fries from the street vendors (cup of oil included, haha)
• 1 avocado
• 2 trips to a public restroom (if you want toilet paper)
• 1 one-way trip downtown in a colectivo (a car with a set route that picks up passengers all along the way)
• 1 one-way trip to the church in a moto taxi
• 2 oz. of raw fish for ceviche (Chimbote’s most famous dish, look it up)
• 1 hair clip
• 1 glass of freshly-squeezed fruit juice (mango, strawberry, pineapple, etc., take your pick)
• 3 pieces of poster-sized paper
• 4 picarones (a delicious fried snack with the texture of a funnel cake but smaller and made with squash and sweet potatoes)
• 2 roses
• 2 packs of chicken bouillon (2 cubes each)
• 2 rolls of toilet paper
• 20 mini lemons
• 1 hour of computer time in an internet café
• 1 ice cream cone (one scoop in a cake cone)
• 1 2-minute conversation via cell phone
• 5 small white candles
• 2 “besos de moza” (“young man’s kiss,” a chocolate filled with marshmallow cream)

Thanks for reading :)  Blessings to you all during the holidays!  I would love to hear from you!

affirming graces

I used to be really intimidated by the thought of teaching high school-age youth. I walked into the Confirmation class here less than three months before Confirmation day and introduced myself to a room of 20-some teenagers.  Some looked at me with curiosity, others with amusement, the rest with boredom.  All made me self-consciously stumble over my words as I spit out some attempt to explain why I was there.  A few were interested to know a little more about the U.S., but most paid me little attention.  After a few more classes of minimal involvement on my part, the bishop informed us that our Confirmation celebration was moved a month earlier.  This provoked a somewhat frantic response from Tino, the Franciscan who leads the class, as he attempted to spread the word to the students, whose telephone numbers and addressed he hadn’t thought to gather beforehand.  We held a couple of emergency meetings with no more than ten students in attendance.  Tino quickly made a plan for the next two weeks leading up to Confirmation, squeezing a month’s worth of final preparations into little over a week.  We lost about half the class who couldn’t commit to the daily activities newly required in order to be confirmed. 

As Tino also had little time to prepare, this was an opportunity for me to take on some of the responsibility for our activities, one of which was a weekend retreat now cut down to one Saturday morning.  As my Spanish is still developing, we decided to leave the talks to Tino and Sister Sofia and let me lead icebreakers and small group discussion.  I would have liked more than the one afternoon I had to prepare, but I was satisfied with the material I found and excited to carry it out!    On Saturday morning, we started with the icebreakers, which really helped me as much as it helped them.  As I attempted to explain the directions, it became clear that I was lacking a few key words but they were patient and helped me along.  Overall, it wasn’t as I imagined it (is it ever?) but it was successful.  After a talk by Sofia, the group was really lacking energy, but Tino, who usually fires them up, hadn’t arrived yet.  So it was up to me!  I pulled out a little “God is good/all the time” chant (in Spanish, of course) to animate them and then put on some music while they broke into groups to come up with three reasons why youth are (or aren’t) important in the Church.  We chose this question because one of our goals is to keep them active in the Church even after Confirmation is done, but I had no idea what to expect from their responses.  When it came time to present, I was blown away!  In turn, they presented statements like, “We are important because we have the ability to change the world” and because “we are the new face of the Church.”  In that moment it became clear to me that some of them, at least, understood the importance of their role in the Church and in the world. 

Perhaps their preparation could have been fuller with more time, but the urgency of the moment created a sense of camaraderie.   I began to see their personalities, learn their names, and have more conversations.  At the same time, the plans for developing a youth center were completely stagnant and I was very discouraged.  We seemed to lack interest, initiative, and organization, and at times I was questioning my involvement.  I had momentum with this small group of students, but Confirmation was soon approaching, and I feared it would all be lost once the class was done.  Still, by Confirmation day I was very excited for them and the celebration was successful.  Though I had done very little, I was proud that this group of 16-strong followed through on their commitment.  Camila, one of the students, came to hug me before she left, and asked if I was going to continue being involved in more activities.  I told her yes, we are hoping to plan many more things for the youth.  She told me she would be attending mass on Sundays, and asked that I keep her updated.  I told her I would, of course, and reminded her of the open invitation to visit my house at any time for whatever reason.  She received it very warmly, then she told me she would see me Thursday to plan the retreat that they didn’t get to have!  It was a simple exchange, lasting only a few seconds, but within it were the seeds of everything I hope to experience with the youth.  As she said, this week we will meet with those who still want to have a retreat.  I don’t know how many will show up or what the likelihood is that we will follow through with the idea, but this seedling was an affirming grace from God to press onward, even when it seems fruitless!  That we all may hold tight to these moments which keep our hearts burning with hope and energy!

looking around, I am so blessed

The celebration began last night at midnight as Kelli, Guancarlo and I celebrated the first minutes of my birthday.  They sang to me, one in English and one in Spanish, and I blew out a single candle on the delicious pineapple-upside-down cake that Kelli made for us.  We shared some Inca Kola while we dug into the cake.  My first birthday in Peru!

As I sit here this afternoon listening to Kelli play the guitar and gathering myself together before a full evening, I find myself wanting to share this day not only with my roommates and Peruvian friends, but also with all of you!  I’d like to share a short reflection on my birthday that I wrote in my journal yesterday:

“My ambition is not to achieve but to love.  Coming on 23 years in this world, many young people from a similar background would be just beginning a career, eyes on opportunities for advancement and promotion, thoughts directed toward completing tasks and projects, emotions swirling around marriage and settling down with a family.  And what ambitions am I realizing?  I am, or at least I like to think I am, continuing my search for love and truth.  But where this search is unlike a typical “ambition” is in the fact that it will never be achieved by looking forward; it can only be achieved by looking around.  That is to say, it is only found in the present moment. …  The real challenge is to be authentically ME in every moment.  By looking at this as a goal to be achieved, I will never be content, and I will never achieve it.  In each moment, I must ask, who am I?  And then I must lovingly answer with a smile on my face, this is me!”

Tonight I will be attending reconciliation and adoration before Mass, and following that I have Confirmation class.  I made some M&M (Chin Chin, as the Peruvian brand is called) cookies to share with my students, and afterward some of our friends are going to come to the house for more pineapple cake and dancing!  Kelli, Marcelle, and I made a picnic lunch earlier and took it to the park/zoo/forest to enjoy together.  This morning Kelli made me an omelet with toast and coffee before we spent the morning baking!  I opened a few wonderful cards and gifts and received several phone calls from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday.  Every moment of this day has been uniquely full of joy and celebration!  I am so grateful for all that has made this possible.

I would also like to share with you all some of the quote that Kelli wrote inside her gift for me, a Spanish Bible.  It was written by aIta Ford, aMaryknoll Sister who was martyred in El Salvador during the Civil War, to her niece on her niece’s birthday in 1980:

“…What I’m saying is, I hope you come to find that which gives life a deep meaning for you … something worth living for, maybe something worth dying for … something that energizes you, enthuses you, enables you to keep moving ahead.  I can’t tell you what it might be – that’s for you to find, to choose, to love.  I can just encourage you to start looking, and support you in the search…”

That we may all support each other in this search to find that which gives our lives meaning!

home in the moment

Last week we reflected as a community on the meaning of home for each of us, and we were asked to draw some kind of image or symbol to represent that idea.  Perhaps some of you recognize pieces of this drawing!  The base image is the view from the bench on my front porch at home in Dodge.  I added the tire swing that hung from the tree outside my home in Majagual, Dominican Republic, and then I added the "F" from Cat and Becky's apartment in Omaha.  These images also represent places where I have felt completely comfortable, able to sit and enjoy the moment with people I love, to relax, to think, to talk.  They are all places where I would go at the end of the day to unwind, content that no more tasks awaited me and able to really immerse in the present moment.  My prayer for my time in Peru and for all of you is that we can all find the feeling of home in each moment of every day.  I hope we can be aware that each moment is a gift, each moment is exactly where it should be.  I have seen in my time so far that Peruvians tend to be a little better at this than me.  Life here tends to be taken in much more slowly, with less focus on the goals to be achieved and more focus on celebrating the joy of the moment.  That we all may do this a little more!

Peace and joy to you in each moment!

what we do is very little

It feels like I just wrote a blog entry but it was over two weeks ago!  That is a testament to how fast time is going already. 

I am still trying to find my place in the community here.  I’ve decided to pursue involvement in the parish as my primary service site.  Right now, that means supporting existing ministries and getting to know the Franciscans, adult leaders, parents, children, and young people… no small task!  I’ve begun attending Confirmation and First Communion classes, both of which I am very excited about.  This preliminary involvement will (hopefully) lead to the development or expansion of some of the youth catechesis programming, but it’s hard to say right now what form that will take.  It is a slow process as the classes are only once a week, so I am not really busy with it right now, but I want to try to keep my schedule relatively open and flexible so I can adjust as opportunities arise.  A very exciting aspect of this for me is that I am learning so much about the church’s role in Peruvian society.  This is a topic I have struggled with endlessly in the United States, and I can already see that I will learn much from the church of Chimbote.

This week I will also be going to with a small group to the prison in Cambio Puente, a smaller town a few miles outside Chimbote.  The Comisión de Justicia Social (Social Justice Commission) supports of group of women who visit the men and women in the prison every week.  I’m doing that on Thursday, and it may become a once- or twice-per-week activity.  If not, I am still thinking about spending some time at Lentch (Luz y Esperanza para los Niños Trabajadores de Chimbote/Light and Hope for Child Workers in Chimbote), a ministry founded by one of the Franciscans of our parish.  I’ll keep you posted as things unfold!

This weekend we went with Daniel, a friend of Marcela’s who works in Hospice, to Sierra de la Paz, a small mountain overlooking Chimbote.  During Holy Week, Chimbotanos make a living-stations-of-the-cross pilgrimage to the chapel about three-fourths of the way up the mountain.  Then you can hike the rocky terrain to the top, where there is a large cross.  On Sunday we drove up to the chapel and then hiked to the top, where we could see the ocean to the west, some smaller towns dotting the valleys to the north, and Chimbote and the bay to the south.  It was beautiful, and so quiet!  Looking at the Pacific Ocean and the coast to the north I realized thousands of miles further up Scott (my brother) lives on the same ocean!  Pretty crazy.

We also experienced our first Peruvian celebrations this weekend!  We were invited to a couple different birthday parties, where to food was absolutely delicious and the music and dancing were abundant!  Every Peruvian has a unique dancing style, it seems, so it’s not too intimidating!  As much as I feel like I AM moving my hips, though, they still tell me I need to move my hips.  Two years is a long time to learn… though it’s probably hopeless.  Oh well, still fun! 

Especially right now because my activities are still pretty minimal, I feel like I’m floundering a bit.  I think I have a tendency to hold myself to some ideal of the perfect missionary because I want to be up to meeting the challenge, but then I am left feeling unsatisfied and critical of myself!  I’m also afraid that I’m getting attached to my current slow pace of life… which is good, but I also feel like I should be keeping busier and doing more things.  All in finding the balance…

The writings of Dorothy Day have been particularly helpful for me, as they both comfort me in feeling like I’m not “doing” anything and challenge me to meet each person with love.  Here’s a bit that I’d like to share:

“What we do is very little.  But it is like the little boy with a few loaves and fishes.  Christ took that little and increased it.  He will do the rest.  What we do is so little we may seem to be constantly failing.  But so did He fail.  He met with apparent failure on the Cross.  But unless the seed fall into the earth and die, there is no harvest.  And why must we see results?  Our work is to sow.”

Sometimes I wonder what people think about us as missionaries.  Sometimes they ask why we’re here, what work we’re doing, etc.  It’s hard to describe, for sure, especially because it doesn’t really look like we’re doing much.  I find myself saying I am here to learn, to share, and to get to know the people.  With the Confirmation class the other night they all introduced themselves and said a little bit about why they are preparing for Confirmation.  Many of them said that they want to become better Christians.  When it was my turn, I said that while I hope to teach them something while I’m here, I also hope to learn from them, to see how God’s love can manifest in different ways and, ultimately, to become a better Christian, or to learn to love more fully.  They seemed to be satisfied with that answer.  So am I, sometimes. 

I hope you all can also continually discover new ways to love each person you encounter, even if it seems like very little.

Paz y esperanza.

program blog

Please visit the Incarnate Word Missionaries group blog.  My Peruvian community and I wrote the latest entry, so you can get a taste of their experience as well as mine!
Incarnate Word Missionaries Blog

I´m doing well!  I´m going to try to get starting working the parish, assisting with confirmation and first communion classes, and eventually perhaps starting some sort of youth catechesis program.  Next week I will also be starting prison visits a couple days a week.  A longer update soon!

As the Franciscans here say, Paz y bien!

Giving up being a caterpillar

I feel like there is so much to say yet so little to say. First a little business: if you are interested in calling me, feel free (I think it’s pretty cheap on Skype) but don’t leave a message if we don’t answer because we don’t know the password to our voicemail! My schedule is unpredictable, so it’s hard to know when I’ll be in the house. Second, we have a program blog for Incarnate Word Missionaries and this week my community is writing about our experience, so please visit and read! The website is


Since my last post, we have spent most of our time visiting various important places around Chimbote, including many possible service sites. I’ll share some highlights…

I got to accompany a nurse and doctor with the Hospice program (started and run by the sisters) on their home visits one morning and another morning we accompanied Marcela (community mate) on her house visits. She is currently working with a division of hospice that provides in-house care for individuals with chronic health problems, while the nurse and doctor were visiting individuals with terminal illnesses. It was a powerful experience; as much as I like to think I can handle just about anything, it would a long take time for me to be completely comfortable doing the work that Marcela and the other nurses do. Many of the people they visit have large, raw bedsores that need to be cleaned and bandaged. Many of them need to be bathed and have their toenails cleaned and trimmed. Many need help changing their incontinence briefs. To some extent, this is much more normal in Peruvian culture because of greater comfort with the human body here, but it is still very intimate work. I understand that the work of the nurses here is probably similar to that of nurses in the U.S., but many of the material and medicinal comforts available to patients in the U.S. simply don’t fit within the budget of most families here. The gentleness and respect of the nurses is certainly aiding these individuals to live and die with dignity. We also got to talk a bit with their families while they were receiving care, as most of the hospice patients live with a daughter or son. One man we visited lives alone, and I imagine that Marcela’s visits are a great comfort to him.

We also visited la Comisión de Justicia Social (Social Justice Comission), which is an office within the Diocese of Chimbote. They are involved in a variety of projects, including education and discussion surrounding the terrorism of the 80s & 90s and the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s recommendations for ensuring that it never happens again. We attended a workshop with a priest here in Chimbote who is very passionate about eliminating discrimination and actively working to establish a peaceful, just society instead of passively enabling the oppressive structure of the status quo. We also attended a workshop presented by la Comisión in our parish about voting responsibly in the upcoming elections (October 3). With only my limited exposure, it seems to me that the majority of the general population is pretty indifferent toward the political system because they are so jaded by the lack of accountability. It seems that few people actually believe their representatives are going to follow through on their promises. This indifference is complicated by the fact that there is a penalty for not voting, so everybody votes despite disinterest in the outcome. So, there is a great need for voter education and empowerment.

Another possible service site is with the congregation of Sisters of the Good Shepard. They provide various ministries to women working in prostitution, including home visits and tutoring for their children, among other things. We attended a celebration there this weekend to celebrate the life of one of their sisters who was killed by the Shining Path while working in the mountains. It was a great opportunity to meet many women and children and begin to build relationships.

Other opportunities are within the parish, and I am very excited about them. We met Frey Tino, a Franciscan brother in our parish who is involved in la Comisión and also teaches Confirmation classes. We also met Padre Miguel, a Franciscan priest from Germany who runs a program for children who work in the streets. They have a home for children a few minutes outside Chimbote and we will be visiting that ministry on Monday. There are also opportunities to get involved in catechesis for First Communion or for the youth between First Communion and Confirmation, in the youth theater program, in the choirs, etc. On Tuesday we will visit CECOPROS, a communications office within the Diocese, and sometime this week we will visit la Casa de la Mujer (Women’s House) to learn about their ministries.

Besides visiting the various sites, we also spend a lot of time in our community house. I have three community mates: Marcela, who is in her thirties and is beginning her second year as an IWM; Kelli, another new IWM fresh out of undergrad; and Catalina, a volunteer from Catholic Medical Mission Board who recently finished nursing school. We are slowly but surely becoming more comfortable with each other and establishing the foundations of our community.

I’ve also been spending a lot of time in prayer and meditation, hoping to continue to strengthen this throughout my two years here. A joy of this ministry is that we build our own schedule, so we are strongly encouraged the set aside times for personal prayer and reflection in addition to our service sites and community time. This has been invaluable for me! As I have written before, embracing this life is still challenging even though I know it is what I want. There have been moments when I just wonder why I didn’t stay in the U.S., live near the amazing friends that I already have, and work with some of the numerous individuals who are oppressed and marginalized in the U.S. Somehow facing the challenges in the U.S. was so much easier and more comfortable with my support group only a text message or short walk away. I know, though, that the growth and change that comes from stepping beyond that circle of comfort is unimaginable and necessary. I was reminded by a book given to me by a very wise friend, Hope for the Flowers, that in order to reach your true purpose and potential, “you must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” I must understand that while what I had was already good, there is something deeper, some new understanding of God’s love in the world, that awaits me. I have already seen many signs of God’s love through the people here, and I can’t wait to continue to learn and allow that love to flow through me in new, exciting, and sometimes scary ways!

droplets of learning, observations and activities

I´m sorry I have no pictures with me today but I will post some soon so you can see my new home!  Here´s a few tidbits to give you an update...

-The trip from Lima to Chimbote was loooong.  A large portion of the highway is getting redone so we were in a charter bus on a dirt road weaving through huge sand dunes, at times beautiful and at times seeming so desolate.  The rest of the trip was a highway with the coast on one side and sand dunes on the other, and there were small smatterings of tiny homes interspersed with huge haciendas (farms) of corn, hogs, strawberries, etc.  I saw a couple fields being tilled by a single farmer pushing a plow and lots of little fruits being hand-picked.  There were also a lot of hog confinements right along the ocean, and I wonder if the waste is going directly into the water, but I don´t know.

-Chimbote and the house are wonderful!  Our house is HUGE, and I am settling nicely into my room.  I have a very large window that overlooks the street, and this morning I spent several hours cleaning a thick layer of dust of the window and scrubbing the drapes!  We wash everything by hand, so it was quite the process, but I love being out on our rooftop washing and hanging clothes.  It was a very good time to be alone with my thoughts and the sounds of our neighborhood. 

-Most vehicles on the streets are modes of public transportation of a few variations as it is one of the biggest employers in the city, after fishing, of course.  We did go down to the ocean and try Chimbote´s famous ceviche, a raw fish dish with garlic and lime and some other garnishes.
-Kelli and I made our first friends!  Jefferson, 10, and Nayeli, 9, caught us leaving the house today and we have a playdate scheduled for tomorrow afternoon :)

-Marcela (third community mate) is attempting to teach us how to get everywhere.  She is a wonderful guide, but only the busiest streets have signs and the smallest don´t even have names, so it will take a little time.  I think I´ve got the ones directly nearest our house down, and I can find my way to the church (San Francisco/Saint Francis.. that´s our parish, but there are many others in the city that we will hopefully visit in time) and the sisters' house. 

-We went to Mass last night and it was great.  The music was really good, and there were a lot of people there for Mass and even for adoration beforehand... on a week night!  Of course the gospel reading was the infamous, "The poor you will always have with you."  Bleh!  Well then, I guess I will always be with them!  It´s a good reading though, lots of room for interpretation ;)

-My goal right now is to soak up, observe, ask questions, meet people, be open.  I am working to avoid judgments, conclusions, opinions, preferences.  In the next weeks, I hope to establish habits of active days, times for prayer and reflection, earlyish nights and early mornings.  We have yet to visit many of the ministries that are available to volunteer with, and we will likely start doing so next week, but the idea is to take is slow.  We want to become familiar with the community and have time to discern the options before commiting to a set schedule with certain sites. 

-Chimbote is a city.  I´m sure our neighborhood and the church community will get smaller once we get to know more people, but right now it´s a little intimidating.  There is very little structure, and at times I am tempted to feel entitled to a grand welcome or something.  It is far different from entering into a small community like Majagual, where everybody knows you are there.  I have found this to be just a little difficult but only for short moments... then I give myself a reality check.  I am in Chimbote, Peru! This is finally my life! Praise God.  Smile.  Enjoy.  Be.

I hope you feel as blessed as I do.  Peace and smiles to you.

learning to dance to the beat of the Peruvian drum

Well I've now completed by second complete day in Peru, both of them spent in Lima.  It is a fascinating city, a disturbing combination of neatly-trimmed and manicured parks and half-finished cement block homes tightly lining most of the streets.  Areas of the city are very attractive, and we enjoyed a nice walk along the ocean and through some nice parks where there are bike paths, young professionals walking their dogs, and diversity.  We attracted very little attention in that part of town.



 People tell me one of Peru's trademarks is its food, and I find that to be true so far!  We've had a couple of traditional Peruvian dishes... pollo a la braza (which is basically fried chicken with french fries), aji de gallina (a delicious chicken sauce eaten over potatoes with a boiled egg and olives), and mazamorra morada with arroz con leche (a sweet purple corn and fruit sauce served with a rice pudding-type thing).  I'm loving it, but perhaps my hips aren't!  Ha ha.

We have also been getting to know some of the sisters -- Rosaleen, Pilar, Adriana (a novice), Juanita, and others.  They seem to be a very vibrant, committed community with a deep, rich history with the people of Peru.  I hope to learn much more from them as time progresses!

There are many sites around Lima worth seeing... churches, parks, museums, but I think one of my favorite activities so far was visiting the community of sisters in Lurigancho, a district in east Lima.  First of all, it was a wonderful celebration of Rosaleen's birthday, and I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with their community.  It was a perhaps profound moment, though, when Adriana was giving us a tour of the house and took us out on their balcony and then up to a higher roof, where we could see the whole neighborhood.  I can't describe it, but you can see the picture (and there's a couple more on facebook).  The reality in which this community of sisters is submerged cannot be forgotten from this vantage point.

As we were walking to catch a bus to go home from the party, we stopped at a monument there and Rosaleen told us a story.  I don't want to shortchange the immensity of the event by describing it briefly here, so please forgive me for not giving it due detail and emotion, but I think it offers a very slight taste of Peru's historical reality and the presence of the sister's and other members of the Church within that reality. Seven people were killed in that place by the police in 1989.  One of them was an Incarnate Word sister, the rest were inmates from the prison who escaped in protest of poor living conditions. They took the whole ministry team hostage, and the police opened fire on them (knowing they were unarmed).  The sister was the first one shot and killed, and after that they men from the prison put their other hostages on the ground and covered them with their own bodies to protect them; no other hostages were killed. Six of the nine men from the prison were killed.  Even after a life hardened by who-knows-what kind of upbringing and life in one of the most notorious prisons in the world, these men had the compassion to protect their hostages.  I have yet to reflect more fully on that event.

We have one more day in Lima tomorrow, when we will visit a couple of museums, including a museum of national history, which I am very excited for.  Then Wednesday we will head to Chimbote!  I may add a brief update on tomorrow's happenings but if not my next post will be from my new home six hours up the coast!

Peace and unrest to you.

At last...

Well, I am now in Lima, Peru!  Our flights yesterday went very well; we had a close call in Mexico City because we didn't realize we had to leave through immigration and customs and reenter through security again but luckily we got to our gate as they were boarding.  The flight down was long but without problems.  Sadly it was dark so we could not see the ocean as we flew over and landed in Lima, but as we were coming in I could see very tiny lights from boats below that were basically indistinguishable from the stars.  It was very cool. 

Today we are off to see all the sights of Lima!  More soon.

Peace and laughter to you.

a plan unfolds

I am excited to share with you all that our visas are ready to be picked up in Houston and we've purchased our tickets to Lima.  I'll be flying out of San Antonio next Friday, Sept. 10.  It's a little hard to believe that after all of our waiting and (attempted) patience our missionary venture to Peru is becoming a reality!  I am ready to dive head-first into the radical change and challenge that awaits.

"See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness."
-from "Giving," in The Prophet, by Gibran Khalil Gibran ... read the entire poem here

will we let this hatred continue?

Last night Sr. Martha Ann invited us to join her at a Ramadan Iftar, the evening meal by which Muslims break their day-long fast.  She had been invited to speak about her peacebuilding mission to Iraq to a group of interfaith leaders from San Antonio.

The evening began with a beautiful prayer from the Qur'an and a welcome from the Imam (like the priest in Catholicism).  Then he introduced sister Sarwat, the leader of the San Antonio chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR).  A graceful Pakistani woman, her Islamic dress was red and white with a beautiful scarf wrapping her head.  She smiled from the podium, but her eyes reflected a deep sadness as she began. 

"I could talk about the celebration of Ramadan," she said.  "But none of us are really in the mood for celebration."

She continued on to share, instead, her insights and frustrations with perceptions and attitudes toward Muslims in the United States.  She spoke of the anger that so many people feel toward the building of mosques and community centers, and reminded us of a taxi driver who was stabbed only days ago because he is Muslim.  She pointed out that each day, we hear and see in the media more negative stories of Muslims.  She calmly but passionately explained the ignorance of that attitude. 

"Every religion has extremists and radicals," she told us.  "Why is it that all Muslims are expected to take responsibility for the actions of some fundamentalists who are not practicing the true teachings of Islam anyway?  We condemned 9-1-1.  We are not happy about the war, either.  When I hear about the drone attacks in Pakistan it breaks my heart; I cry myself to sleep.  Will we let this hatred continue?"

She showed a slide reporting the religious affiliations claimed by U.S. citizens -- this percent Christian, this percent Muslim, this percent non-believers, etc.  "But who cares?" she said.  "We are one people.  Will we let ourselves be defined and segregated by our religious affiliations?"

I am no expert on Islam.  I am no expert on American-Islamic relations.  I do know that the rhetoric coming from many voices in our country is driven not by the desire for peace but by fear, hatred, or ignorance.  I also see how our wars are perpetuating that message.  War does not bring real peace.  It breeds hatred.

I will conclude with a passage that was quoted from the Qur'an, a holy book of Islam.  It teaches the same messages of love of neighbor and self taught by Christian scriptures.  I believe more now than ever that we worship one God, we just know that God by different names:

“If anyone kills a person it would be as if he killed the whole humanity: and if anyone saved a life it would be as if he saved the life of the whole humanity" (5:32).

Let us be instruments of peace.

*I took a bit of liberty in quoting Sarwat.  This is how I remember what she said.

to serve and to love... is not easy.

I just brought Mom, Kim, and Ginger to the airport after their weekend visiting me in San Antonio.  It is moments like these that make me wonder what I am doing here.  Being separated from people I love is so hard.  It's not fun, it's not easy, it's not painless.  As my brother recently reminded me, though, moments of discomfort are those that remind us of our need for God.  When we get too comfortable, we begin to think we are indestructible.  We begin to think that we don't need anyone else in our lives!  Being in this position reminds me of how vulnerable I am and I will certainly be relying on the spirit of love working through people around me to sustain me through the next two years.

As always, we look to role models for support.... and for you, my family, a prayer to St. Joseph:

Joseph, strengthen in our family every bond of love which unites us --

the marriage bond,

the love of parent and child,

the bonds of mutual love between all.

Joseph, protect our family from every danger from without

and from every threat to peace, unity and harmony within.

Joseph, teach us to be kind and loving towards one another,

careful for one another,

tolerant of one another,

forgiving towards one another.

Joseph, may contentment with our lot and joy in each other abound in our house,

as we seek faithfully to serve and greatly to love God.

Peace and laughter,

Emily

mission is venturing into the heart of another

A long awaited update, I know.  I admit that blogging is a difficult thing, but everything seems at the same time too ordinary to write about and too indescribable for words.  Still, I'll do my best.  Let me warn you though that it is heavy on spirituality and theory, since that's kind of what we've been doing.  If that doesn't interest you, feel free to skim... after orientation I'll have more activities and cultural excitements to describe!

We have just finished day 16 of our orientation, which will end this Friday.  I have learned so much about the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word, mission, the church, culture, community, etc.  It's been a very rich experience, so let me try to share pieces of what I've learned...

On our second day, Sr. Corine talked to us about CCVI (abbreviation for the congregation) history.  If you'd like to learn about it, you can find it on their website, I won't bore you with all the details right now.  However, she did make some interesting points about women religious in general, especially the fact that they really led the women's empowerment movement in the US (and still are around the world).  She said that women religious are the most educated group of women in the US and that religious women were the first women to hold administrative positions, especially in schools and hospitals.  For Mom and Dad, she also talked to us about our parents, and that we need to understand how difficult it is let a child leave home and enter into the unknown, and that "they will be blessed, too, for that."

We spent time with Sr. Rosie and Sr. Tere Maya talking about CCVI spirituality and charism, delving more deeply into discovering who Jesus really is and how the sisters live out their missions.  Sr. Tere Maya emphasized that the charism of the congregation is not "historical," but is about recognizing the needs of the times.  Their charism statement is beautiful:  "That the love of God, as it is made manifest in the Incarnation, be made real and tangible in the world today."  The love that Jesus gave us is the love we are called to give each other!  By becoming human, God "dignifies our human condition to the level that is is divine."  Being fully human is not only good, but divine, of God!

We have also studied a bit of Christology and Ecclesiology, and if you want to hear more about those discussions, you can e-mail me.  I don't think it would be the most interesting read!  Basically, we are gaining a deeper understanding of what it means to be a missionary in the catholic church today... i.e. building relationships, sharing love, etc.

I should also tell you that my departure date has been delayed to Sept. 9 due to visa delays.  Kelli and I will be staying here in San Antonio working with the sisters on some projects and in some classes at the university.  It is a little disappointing but I think it will be a really good time!  One of our sites in Chimbote will be helping to establish a branch of Women's Global Connection, which you can read about on their website, womensglobalconnection.org.  They are doing some research and work with the program here in SA so we will get to learn more about that! 

I will leave you with a few reflections from our retreat this past Friday and Saturday.  It was really beautiful, at a retreat center on a nice piece of parkland in the city, with a pond, great climbing trees, and a labyrinth.  There was one tree overlooking the pond that I climbed a couple times, and I could watch as five or so turtles slowly swam to the shore and rested on the banks.  It was really nice to feel like I was escaping from the city.  Anyway, here are a few art projects I made there and some explanation to help you understand where I am right now...

 This is a door tag to the door of me!  We were directed to decorate a door tag with images or words that signified the message we want to radiate to others.  I wrote, "Aqui estoy, contigo," which means, "I am here, with you."  I first chose "I am here" as a humble offering of myself and my desire to be in relationship, recognizing that I may not be able to help, per say, but that I am offering my presence.  I added "contigo" to remove the emphasis from myself and instead emphasize being present to the individual in front of me.




This is an oil crayon image that I drew in response to a reflection on the fact that God really came to earth and really cares about human beings!  It spurred from a poem about a little girl telling the Christmas story, which ends with, "And she jumped in the air, whirled round, dove into the sofa and buried her head under the cushion, which is the only proper response to the Good News of Incarnation."  So... we were asked to think about our response to this Good News.  I went out by the pond and sat observing and meditating and this is what I came up with!  It is a spider, just beginning a web.  The metaphor is something like this...  a spider, when setting out to build a web, has to contribute the materials and energy for the project, but then relies upon the breeze to carry it where it may, and there it begins building.  I feel a bit like the spider in midair, trusting the Spirit or love or my deepest desire (whatever you choose to call it) to lead me where it may. 

 Finally, this is a symbol of my holiness!  Or, at least, what my symbol would be if I were to achieve sainthood :)   We were asked to imagine that Sr. Bridget Marie (leading the retreat) did a Google search for holiness, and our name popped up.  What would the blurb say?  What symbol would represent us?  So, it's looking at what we hope to become or the way we strive to live....  the symbol is hands (working in the world) holding out a yellow light (warmth, light, self-gift) with a blooming flower (recognizing room for development and learning and growth). 

My self-description is this:  She never doubts the sincerity of others, but meets each person with gentleness and gratitude.  This is not due to naivety, for she has a grounded sense of reality, but due to her belief that as a community and by the grace of God, we can each move beyond our limited sense of the possible into a reality where peace and common dignity triumph. 

Ah, and tonight we met with some sisters and some students from the University of the Incarnate Word.  The students are all involved in campus ministry leadership, so it was very interesting to hear some of their perspectives.  One of the sisters shared about a homily she heard this weekend, in which the priest said the line that titles this entry, so that's where it came from!  I think it sums up the last 2 weeks quite well.

So, if you made it all the way through, congratulations and thank you for reading!  I apologize for any typos or poor writing... I kind of went straight through and wrote because I knew if I thought about it too much I would end up writing nothing (and I'm too sleepy to proofread!).  If you want to know more about anything or if I failed to tell you about something that you want to know, e-mail me!  emilyruskamp@gmail.com

Paz, laughter, and all good things,
Emily

San Antone!

Just a few words to let everyone know that I'm doing very well here in San Antonio!  There are currently five of us new missionaries here, and I am really enjoying getting to know the other girls.  Today was our first day of orientation, so we haven't done too much yet, but I definitely feel that I am in the right place.  We got to hear from the Congregational Coordinator of the Sisters of the Charity of the Incarnate Word today, and she is a spectacular woman.  She is the highest-up person in the congregation and still lives in the Visitation House, which is a house of hospitality for women and children who have nowhere to go.  She also studies and teaches feminist liberation theology and mujerista theology, which looks at Latina women in the Church.  She is very charismatic and I have a very good impression so far of the incarnational spirituality!  Here are a few words she shared with us; it is an excerpt from their foundational letter, sent by a bishop to a congregation in Europe requesting their service.  I believe it is truly a call to all of us and is, indeed, the call I am seeking to answer!

"Our Lord Jesus Christ, suffering in the persons of a multitude of the sick and infirm of every kind, seeks relief at your hands." -Bishop Claude Marie Dubuis, 1866

Otherwise, it is very hot here in San Antonio and we walked around downtown a bit this afternoon.  We are staying at a retreat center very close to downtown and our evenings are very open so it is nice to have lots of time together as a community!  

I miss you all and I thank you for keeping me in your prayers!  

Peace, laughter, and all good things.

last days in Nebraska

Today is my last full day in Nebraska.  The house is quiet right now, which is the only reason I am spending any time on the computer!  I was journaling a bit earlier this morning a few thoughts on leaving and thought I would share a few.

 I feel very sad right now about leaving, and I really have no idea how this transition is going to go.  The closest thing I have done to this was going to the Dominican Republic (for a mere 4 months.. that looks like nothing now!).  The first few days I spent in the DR were very miserable.  I was homesick, I missed my family and friends, and I was not feeling good about my decision to go there.  It is amazing to me how far I have come since that time.  If you had asked me then, I never would have predicted that my life would be quite where it is.  Of course, that's probably true about most of us!  Still, I am so grateful to all the people whose influence led me here (though maybe my parents would like to have a word with you.. just kidding, they led me here, too!).

A good thing about transitions like these is that they remind me how lucky I am to have the family I do!  I love you all so much.  I am sad to leave, excited to go, and trusting about everything in between.

in a trustful time

During the past year I preached so often about the importance of leaving your comfort zone and seeking discomfort.  I claimed utmost willingness to seek change and growth when I become comfortable.  Well, it seems as though I forgot how painful and difficult that process can actually be.  Leaving Creighton, preparing to say goodbye to family and friends, thinking about new housemates and coworkers, preparing mentally and logistically for Peru... it is a lot.  Upon my remark that I am in a stressful time, Fr. Gillick quickly corrected me.  "Don't say stress," he told me.  "Say trust."

So, here I am, in a trusting time.  Trusting that the clothes and shoes I bring to Peru will be right.  Trusting that my friends won't forget me.  Trusting that my family will remain supportive through it all.  Trusting that my new housemates will approve of me.  Trusting that God will work through me and through those around me in Peru to promote love and peace.

Preparations are coming along.  I'm now safely immune to yellow fever, and thanks to my lovely doctor, am aware that I should be careful crossing the roads (because she's not sure if cars stop for pedestrians in Peru) and avoid going outside when the mosquitoes are biting.  Her intentions were good, though.  I've been reading preparatory materials for orientation, including articles about simplicity, community, and the spirituality of the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word.  I will try to share more about that during orientation when we learn more, but I am really enjoying what I'm reading so far.  I'm also getting ready to start packing... I've started in my head, and I went to the store to stock up on some items that might be harder to get in Peru, but I haven't actually opened the suitcase yet.  Soon.

I am getting nervous about leaving but as Fr. Gillick says (yes, another piece of his wisdom), leaving and grieving lead to receiving.  Leaving and grieving is difficult, but it is a necessary component of moving out of the comfort and toward the unknown, where God's grace through the love and presence of other human beings is truly received.

beginnings

Welcome to my new blog! A brief post about what I'm doing right now...

I'm currently at home in Dodge, in a sort of limbo between Creighton and Peru. On August 1, I'll be heading to San Antonio for orientation before flying to Peru around August 23th. I'll be spending 2 years in Chimbote, Peru as a missionary with Incarnate Word Missionaries. I'm patiently awaiting a packet of information from IWM... when that comes, I'll really start thinking about preparations, packing, etc., and offer a better reflection on my thoughts thus far!

I'm currently reading a collection of writings by Dorothy Day, so I'll let her words serve as my inspiration...

"Let reform come through love of God only, and from that love of God, love of each other..."
-Dorothy Day