affirming graces

I used to be really intimidated by the thought of teaching high school-age youth. I walked into the Confirmation class here less than three months before Confirmation day and introduced myself to a room of 20-some teenagers.  Some looked at me with curiosity, others with amusement, the rest with boredom.  All made me self-consciously stumble over my words as I spit out some attempt to explain why I was there.  A few were interested to know a little more about the U.S., but most paid me little attention.  After a few more classes of minimal involvement on my part, the bishop informed us that our Confirmation celebration was moved a month earlier.  This provoked a somewhat frantic response from Tino, the Franciscan who leads the class, as he attempted to spread the word to the students, whose telephone numbers and addressed he hadn’t thought to gather beforehand.  We held a couple of emergency meetings with no more than ten students in attendance.  Tino quickly made a plan for the next two weeks leading up to Confirmation, squeezing a month’s worth of final preparations into little over a week.  We lost about half the class who couldn’t commit to the daily activities newly required in order to be confirmed. 

As Tino also had little time to prepare, this was an opportunity for me to take on some of the responsibility for our activities, one of which was a weekend retreat now cut down to one Saturday morning.  As my Spanish is still developing, we decided to leave the talks to Tino and Sister Sofia and let me lead icebreakers and small group discussion.  I would have liked more than the one afternoon I had to prepare, but I was satisfied with the material I found and excited to carry it out!    On Saturday morning, we started with the icebreakers, which really helped me as much as it helped them.  As I attempted to explain the directions, it became clear that I was lacking a few key words but they were patient and helped me along.  Overall, it wasn’t as I imagined it (is it ever?) but it was successful.  After a talk by Sofia, the group was really lacking energy, but Tino, who usually fires them up, hadn’t arrived yet.  So it was up to me!  I pulled out a little “God is good/all the time” chant (in Spanish, of course) to animate them and then put on some music while they broke into groups to come up with three reasons why youth are (or aren’t) important in the Church.  We chose this question because one of our goals is to keep them active in the Church even after Confirmation is done, but I had no idea what to expect from their responses.  When it came time to present, I was blown away!  In turn, they presented statements like, “We are important because we have the ability to change the world” and because “we are the new face of the Church.”  In that moment it became clear to me that some of them, at least, understood the importance of their role in the Church and in the world. 

Perhaps their preparation could have been fuller with more time, but the urgency of the moment created a sense of camaraderie.   I began to see their personalities, learn their names, and have more conversations.  At the same time, the plans for developing a youth center were completely stagnant and I was very discouraged.  We seemed to lack interest, initiative, and organization, and at times I was questioning my involvement.  I had momentum with this small group of students, but Confirmation was soon approaching, and I feared it would all be lost once the class was done.  Still, by Confirmation day I was very excited for them and the celebration was successful.  Though I had done very little, I was proud that this group of 16-strong followed through on their commitment.  Camila, one of the students, came to hug me before she left, and asked if I was going to continue being involved in more activities.  I told her yes, we are hoping to plan many more things for the youth.  She told me she would be attending mass on Sundays, and asked that I keep her updated.  I told her I would, of course, and reminded her of the open invitation to visit my house at any time for whatever reason.  She received it very warmly, then she told me she would see me Thursday to plan the retreat that they didn’t get to have!  It was a simple exchange, lasting only a few seconds, but within it were the seeds of everything I hope to experience with the youth.  As she said, this week we will meet with those who still want to have a retreat.  I don’t know how many will show up or what the likelihood is that we will follow through with the idea, but this seedling was an affirming grace from God to press onward, even when it seems fruitless!  That we all may hold tight to these moments which keep our hearts burning with hope and energy!