what we do is very little

It feels like I just wrote a blog entry but it was over two weeks ago!  That is a testament to how fast time is going already. 

I am still trying to find my place in the community here.  I’ve decided to pursue involvement in the parish as my primary service site.  Right now, that means supporting existing ministries and getting to know the Franciscans, adult leaders, parents, children, and young people… no small task!  I’ve begun attending Confirmation and First Communion classes, both of which I am very excited about.  This preliminary involvement will (hopefully) lead to the development or expansion of some of the youth catechesis programming, but it’s hard to say right now what form that will take.  It is a slow process as the classes are only once a week, so I am not really busy with it right now, but I want to try to keep my schedule relatively open and flexible so I can adjust as opportunities arise.  A very exciting aspect of this for me is that I am learning so much about the church’s role in Peruvian society.  This is a topic I have struggled with endlessly in the United States, and I can already see that I will learn much from the church of Chimbote.

This week I will also be going to with a small group to the prison in Cambio Puente, a smaller town a few miles outside Chimbote.  The Comisión de Justicia Social (Social Justice Commission) supports of group of women who visit the men and women in the prison every week.  I’m doing that on Thursday, and it may become a once- or twice-per-week activity.  If not, I am still thinking about spending some time at Lentch (Luz y Esperanza para los Niños Trabajadores de Chimbote/Light and Hope for Child Workers in Chimbote), a ministry founded by one of the Franciscans of our parish.  I’ll keep you posted as things unfold!

This weekend we went with Daniel, a friend of Marcela’s who works in Hospice, to Sierra de la Paz, a small mountain overlooking Chimbote.  During Holy Week, Chimbotanos make a living-stations-of-the-cross pilgrimage to the chapel about three-fourths of the way up the mountain.  Then you can hike the rocky terrain to the top, where there is a large cross.  On Sunday we drove up to the chapel and then hiked to the top, where we could see the ocean to the west, some smaller towns dotting the valleys to the north, and Chimbote and the bay to the south.  It was beautiful, and so quiet!  Looking at the Pacific Ocean and the coast to the north I realized thousands of miles further up Scott (my brother) lives on the same ocean!  Pretty crazy.

We also experienced our first Peruvian celebrations this weekend!  We were invited to a couple different birthday parties, where to food was absolutely delicious and the music and dancing were abundant!  Every Peruvian has a unique dancing style, it seems, so it’s not too intimidating!  As much as I feel like I AM moving my hips, though, they still tell me I need to move my hips.  Two years is a long time to learn… though it’s probably hopeless.  Oh well, still fun! 

Especially right now because my activities are still pretty minimal, I feel like I’m floundering a bit.  I think I have a tendency to hold myself to some ideal of the perfect missionary because I want to be up to meeting the challenge, but then I am left feeling unsatisfied and critical of myself!  I’m also afraid that I’m getting attached to my current slow pace of life… which is good, but I also feel like I should be keeping busier and doing more things.  All in finding the balance…

The writings of Dorothy Day have been particularly helpful for me, as they both comfort me in feeling like I’m not “doing” anything and challenge me to meet each person with love.  Here’s a bit that I’d like to share:

“What we do is very little.  But it is like the little boy with a few loaves and fishes.  Christ took that little and increased it.  He will do the rest.  What we do is so little we may seem to be constantly failing.  But so did He fail.  He met with apparent failure on the Cross.  But unless the seed fall into the earth and die, there is no harvest.  And why must we see results?  Our work is to sow.”

Sometimes I wonder what people think about us as missionaries.  Sometimes they ask why we’re here, what work we’re doing, etc.  It’s hard to describe, for sure, especially because it doesn’t really look like we’re doing much.  I find myself saying I am here to learn, to share, and to get to know the people.  With the Confirmation class the other night they all introduced themselves and said a little bit about why they are preparing for Confirmation.  Many of them said that they want to become better Christians.  When it was my turn, I said that while I hope to teach them something while I’m here, I also hope to learn from them, to see how God’s love can manifest in different ways and, ultimately, to become a better Christian, or to learn to love more fully.  They seemed to be satisfied with that answer.  So am I, sometimes. 

I hope you all can also continually discover new ways to love each person you encounter, even if it seems like very little.

Paz y esperanza.

program blog

Please visit the Incarnate Word Missionaries group blog.  My Peruvian community and I wrote the latest entry, so you can get a taste of their experience as well as mine!
Incarnate Word Missionaries Blog

I´m doing well!  I´m going to try to get starting working the parish, assisting with confirmation and first communion classes, and eventually perhaps starting some sort of youth catechesis program.  Next week I will also be starting prison visits a couple days a week.  A longer update soon!

As the Franciscans here say, Paz y bien!