"just being" together

On Sunday, March 18, the Peruvian government issued a presidential decree that it would come down much more harshly on informal mining (mining of whatever mineral without belong to a specific company, i.e., somebody who has iron ore on their land so they just mine it and sell it).  Later that day, hundreds of men and women who work in informal mining got together all over the country to voice their opinion.  In Peruvian democracy, that means blocking major highways so that no travel or commerce can happen, thereby calling everyone’s attention.  This time, it meant blocking the Pan-American Highway in a town called Casma, about 2 hours south of Chimbote, thus restricting any travel whatsoever to the capital, Lima, from anywhere in the northern part of the country.

Normally, it wouldn’t phase me too much as I really spend most of my time in Chimbote, but this time, I was especially grateful for the strike, because I happened to have a visit from two people that I love very much, and because of the strike got to spend another whole day with them.  Yes, my parents have now experienced cuy, anticuchos, crazy taxi drivers, dust upon dust upon dust, hand-washing, 24-hour cars honking and dogs barking, the delicious odor of the fish factories, Peruvian rice, fresh maracuyá juice, the sparkling waves of the Bay of Chimbote, the serenity and poverty and diversity of the agricultural zones surrounding the city, cold showers, ceviche AND chicarrón de pescado (yum!), Peruvian hospitality, and lots of others things that make up my daily life… (by the way, if there are words above that you don’t understand, that means you need to come visit Peru!)  As my mom said so well, meeting the people of Peru is much better than seeing the touristy sites of Peru!

But most of all, we got to hang out, catch up, get to know each other again (I’m only begin to discover all the characteristics I’ve inherited from them), have fun, laugh, talk about God and a little about politics (but not too much, haha), and as my dad said, just “be.” 

So for that extra day… thank you to the miners for standing up for their rights (and for resolving the conflicting in good timing!), hair dresser who had a cancelled appointment, to the Confirmation leaders who had to go it alone in the rehearsal, to our feedlot employees who were reliable and helped my dad be stress-free, to Jeff for lending an extra hand at home when he could have been doing a million other things for spring break, to Kim for taking care of Zoe, to Orbitz for finally referring us to American Airlines, to American Airlines for at least attempting to reduce to transfer fees, to Giancarlo for being relentless with the bus line, to my community mates for being all-around amazing, and to my PARENTS, Steve and Joan, for stepping outside their comfort zones into a completely foreign and unknown world, trusting that everything will work out, in order to better understand their daughter and why she does what she does. 

We live the lives that we live so that they may be shared, and in that sharing we all walk a little deeper into the mysterious beauty of life. 

not forgetting, but forgiving

This weekend I went for the first time to mass in one of our parish’s chapels, Santo Domingo. The neighborhood is on the outskirts of Chimbote and has a very rural feel. I’ve been walking by it for several months on my way to LENTCH, always noticing it but never inquiring. This past week I finally decided to bring it up to Padre Luciano and see what’s going on there. I went Sunday in hopes of meeting the right people to start developing some kind of outreach to the kids or youth in the neighborhood.


When I walked into the chapel, I saw a very simple room. At the front was the altar, and behind it there was no wall but instead a garden. There were two rows of simple wooden benches and a handful of señoras (elderly women) sitting on the right. I walked in, took a seat near them, and they greeted me and everyone else as they arrived. There ended up being a total of about ten people. Padre Miguel arrived a few minutes after four, and the Mass started.

Until that Mass, it was like any other Sunday for me. Then Padre offered the opening prayer, and added, “Today we are lucky to have here Emily, from the United States, as we commemorate ten years of the attack on her country at the World Trade Center and pray for the thousands of victims from the U.S. and from all over the world.” Ah, of course, the ten year anniversary of 9/11! I had completely forgotten, but as the Mass proceeded, it turned out to be a better commemoration than I could have asked for.

The Gospel for this Sunday was the parable of forgiving others as God forgives us (Matthew, 18: 21-35). Padre Miguel started out his Homily by highlighting the most common message that we understand from this reading – so many times we are so grateful that our loving God forgives even the gravest of our sins, but we are unwilling to forgive our brothers and sisters for the smallest offenses. Then he said, “We have a good opportunity today, as well, to consider the social message of this Gospel.” The message that he proceeded to give re-awoke in me the emotion of 9/11, and it re-ignited my own sentiments about the way we respond to it:

What if warring nations, instead of retaliating with hatred, started with forgiveness? Obviously many people will present arguments of practicality – the government has to worry about the safety of its people, and we should also work to combat systems of evil in the world. But does not hatred simply breed more hatred? Why not strive for national sentiments of forgiveness, understanding, and solidarity with the millions of other people who deal with terrorism every day? Forgiveness does not mean letting the same atrocity happen twice, but it does mean changing the attitude behind our reaction.

With these thoughts I sat as the Mass continued, and Padre Miguel invited me to offer the petitions, even though I was a fist-time visitor in this tight-knit community. This allowed me to step outside my internal reflections and participate in an active way with the community. I received the body of Christ that day with perhaps more conviction and belief than I have in a long time, because I felt the truth of Christ’s message of forgiveness, on the smallest and largest scale.

So as we move on with our lives and the anniversary of 9/11 passes, let us carry not more hatred toward those who carry out acts of terrorism, but forgiveness. Let us pray not that they suffer for what they’ve done but that love, more powerful than the strongest hatred, may fill their hearts. And let our hearts also be filled with love and the courage to work for a more peaceful world.

love deeply

Wow, I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve last written!  My apologies… it’s amazing how time flies.  Our community posted an entry this week on the IWM Blog.  I’m including my part at the end of this post but I encourage you to read the entire entry as well.  But first a few general updates…

Classes are starting this week at most primary and secondary schools in Chimbote.  The universities are still on vacation until April, so my schedules are slowly changing.  The summer program at LENTCH has ended and we will soon be starting the regular academic reinforcement classes three afternoons a week.  I loved helping out in the classroom during the summer program, though there were many challenging and frustrating moments.  The kids in my classroom are starting to become more comfortable with me, asking me more questions and talking more freely.  This is a double-edged sword, as I love learning more about their lives but the more I learn the more frustrated I become by the challenges they face.  When we got to Chimbote, sure, it was definitely clear that poverty exists here, but perhaps partly due to previous experiences it wasn’t something that shocked me or slapped me in the face.  With time it is becoming all too clear that economic stratification and problems of hunger, abuse, sickness, and lack of education (etc., etc.,) are very, very real.  The detail for me lies in recognizing the injustice and combating it not with anger at an abstract system, but with love, with concrete actions of love toward individuals.  Our director Clare recently shared with me a quote from a friend of hers: “We did not change the world, but we loved it deeply.”  This thought struck me in a very strong way.  It is not to say that we should not hope to change the world, because the very task set before us is to construct the reign of God.  The way to do so, though, is not to bring more hatred and bitterness into the world (even if it is directed at sinful structures) but to experience a genuine love for all that is before us in the present moment.  This love will change the world, but that’s not the point.  The point is to love. 

Those are my reflections, at least.  I could write so much more, but I want you to read my other post as well, so I’ll stop for now.  Soon I will try to write more… there is so much that I could talk about!  I am learning a lot about the fishing economy here and I want to share some of what I’ve learned, but I’ll save it for a separate post.  I also want to tell you about some of my kids at LENTCH because they are truly amazing.  I want to tell you about Kelli’s birthday party, I want to tell you about the continual joys and challenges in the parish, I want to tell you about teaching English, I want to tell you about hiking Cerro de la Paz with the Sisters, I want to tell you about the beach, I want to tell you about my living community, I want to tell you about the mimed played we are working on in theater… is there any need to go on?  If you are particularly intrigued by something, please let me know, or if you have any questions or comments or wishes or stories of your own to share, please share! 

I wish you all the joy of the present moment!  With no further ado, please read on…

“Because food is always better when shared”

I never know if I should laugh, be disgusted, or feel accomplished when my economic lessons find their way into my everyday thought processes.  It happens often, not surprising considering the extent to which our community revolves around the exchange of goods.  Three mornings a week I head off walking to Casa LENTCH, an academic and social support program for children who work in the streets of Chimbote.   I have come to enjoy my 20-minute walk as a time to mentally prepare for the chaos of the classroom and soak up the sights, smells, and sounds of the neighborhood. 

One morning a couple blocks before arriving, I encountered two of our boys, brothers, about 13 and 7, buying food at the corner store.  They each bought a small package of crackers and an Inca Kola.  I waited but walked a bit ahead of them, as they walked slowly, probably wanting to finish their breakfast before arriving.  The older of the two opened his crackers and offered me one.  I immediately thought, I can’t eat his breakfast, especially not knowing when he had last eaten.  Still, I smiled, thanked him, accepted the cracker, and took this small act as an opportunity to enter into conversation.  “We came from San Luis,” he said.  I had visited San Luis, a neighborhood on the south side of Nuevo Chimbote, at least a 45-minute trip.  “There probably won’t be many kids here today,” he continued.  “It’s Valentine’s Day-- they’ll all be downtown.”  I hadn’t thought of that, but of course, with so many people out shopping for gifts, they would want to take advantage of the increased business.  I mulled with that as I thought, ah, but you are still here because your utility curves provide that the benefit of studying and eating at LENTCH outweighs the opportunity cost of the money you could be making downtown.  We approached the open gate.  “How good that you are here, though,” I told him, and he nodded.  We entered and casually parted ways. 

As I walked toward my classroom I took note of which students were present, wondering how they decided upon the best way to spend the day, a classic example employed by economics teachers when teaching opportunity cost.  Should a seven-year-old boy spend his summer day doing cartwheels at stoplights for money or learning how to add and playing soccer?  Applied economics in action, but I’m not sure if I should feel accomplished, be disgusted, or cry.

Read the full blog here: http://www.iwmissions.blogspot.com/

A group photo from LENTCH.. can you find me?  

a bit of economics

 My desire to volunteer abroad has always been rooted in a strong belief in a preferential option for the poor. That can mean many things and can be explained in many ways, but for Catholics it comes from our most fundamental call to serve God. While he was alive, Jesus told his disciples very plainly that when they acted concretely with love for the poorest members of their community they were serving him. It all seems a bit abstract, which is the point. I continually fail to grasp this concept, except when I actually live it out. That’s when it becomes so clear.

 

I want to share a story with you with as many details as possible, not to try to stun anybody or make your feel guilty, but just to paint as good of picture as I can of what it’s like. Yesterday I went with two social workers who work for LENTCH, a program for children who are or have been working on the streets (selling stuff, singing or dancing, etc.), to visit some homes of the children. (Side note: I think this is going to be one of my regular activities in addition to the parish work). We paid four soles (Peruvian currency, pronounced SOUL-ace, more to come about that below) to travel up to Villa Leslie, a recently “developed” area of the city, with sand streets, no electricity yet, and limited water access. One of the homes we visited was that of a mother and probably five or six of her ten children, at least three of whom are grown women with children of their own, all living in the same structure. I say “structure” so as not to give you an image of a typical house in the U.S. The walls are made of a woven reed-like material, and two rooms had roofs of the same material. I only saw into one of the two rooms, which had an old, small twin bed with a thin, dirty mattress. The rest was a large open area, serving as the family room, play room, and chicken coop. The turkeys and chickens roam freely among the children, with the rabbits in a hutch against one wall. The mother tells us that the large turkey will bring 200 soles when she sells it. I remember just a few days ago when we were dismayed by the high price of turkey for Thanksgiving.

 

On the positive side, this family had been selected by LENTCH to receive a prefabricated wooden house, and we were there to deliver to news that it will be delivered next week. While the social workers were explaining this to the mother, one of the children came in from behind the house and told us that the neighbor girl (also part of our program) had been bit on the leg by a dog. When she finally came in we saw the gash, not huge but definitely cause to worry. Long story short, I ended up cleaning it, with a bit of water (generally not clean), soap, and a T-shirt rag. As I wiped the wound as rigorously as I had the heart to, Lourdes remained expressionless. I knelt there in the sand, trying to block her leg from the wind, wiping the blood, thinking there was no way I could get all the dirt out of her wound, hoping the dog didn’t have any diseases, wondering what was the likelihood that her mother would take her to the hospital, picturing the large bottle of peroxide and tube of Neosporin sitting unused in my own home, balancing the soap on my leg so as not to drop it in the sand as well. When we contemplate the crucifixion of Jesus, we wonder, what would I have done if I had been there? Surely I would have done something to help, we think. What a shame that I wasn’t there to wipe Jesus’ tears. I tell you, Jesus is crucified every moment of every day. That’s why we have a “preferential option for the poor,” but we only generalize with a title like that to make it more accessible. We really have a preferential option to wipe the blood from Lourdes’ leg.

 

So I didn’t begin this blog entry intending to go into all that… but sometimes it’s best to let flow whatever seems to be coming! Part of a preferential option for the poor is the attempt to walk in solidarity with communities living in poverty. We could talk about the philosophy of solidarity for hours, but I merely want to highlight part of it from a very practical point of view!

 

Most families here make small amounts of money each day, so most things can be bought in tiny quantities. We try to purchase our food daily in small quantities to practice this type of living as well. To give you an idea of money here, we (my community) came up with the following list. The Peruvian currency is called the Nuevo Sol. The exchange rate right now is 2.77 soles to one dollar, so one sol is about $0.36. Seems like very little, but (thank goodness) a little sol can go a long way!

 

Things you can buy for 1 nuevo sol

• 10 medium-sized tomatoes (1 kilo)
• ¼ kilo of oatmeal (about 4 cups)
• ¾ kilo of rice (about 5 cups)
• 1 kabob of anticuchos (beef heart, fire-grilled to order)
• 10 individually-wrapped Halls
• 9 pieces of bread (freshly baked twice daily)
• 5 eggs (gathered from the chickens on the roof)
• 8 mini bananas
• 1 order of French fries from the street vendors (cup of oil included, haha)
• 1 avocado
• 2 trips to a public restroom (if you want toilet paper)
• 1 one-way trip downtown in a colectivo (a car with a set route that picks up passengers all along the way)
• 1 one-way trip to the church in a moto taxi
• 2 oz. of raw fish for ceviche (Chimbote’s most famous dish, look it up)
• 1 hair clip
• 1 glass of freshly-squeezed fruit juice (mango, strawberry, pineapple, etc., take your pick)
• 3 pieces of poster-sized paper
• 4 picarones (a delicious fried snack with the texture of a funnel cake but smaller and made with squash and sweet potatoes)
• 2 roses
• 2 packs of chicken bouillon (2 cubes each)
• 2 rolls of toilet paper
• 20 mini lemons
• 1 hour of computer time in an internet café
• 1 ice cream cone (one scoop in a cake cone)
• 1 2-minute conversation via cell phone
• 5 small white candles
• 2 “besos de moza” (“young man’s kiss,” a chocolate filled with marshmallow cream)

Thanks for reading :)  Blessings to you all during the holidays!  I would love to hear from you!

looking around, I am so blessed

The celebration began last night at midnight as Kelli, Guancarlo and I celebrated the first minutes of my birthday.  They sang to me, one in English and one in Spanish, and I blew out a single candle on the delicious pineapple-upside-down cake that Kelli made for us.  We shared some Inca Kola while we dug into the cake.  My first birthday in Peru!

As I sit here this afternoon listening to Kelli play the guitar and gathering myself together before a full evening, I find myself wanting to share this day not only with my roommates and Peruvian friends, but also with all of you!  I’d like to share a short reflection on my birthday that I wrote in my journal yesterday:

“My ambition is not to achieve but to love.  Coming on 23 years in this world, many young people from a similar background would be just beginning a career, eyes on opportunities for advancement and promotion, thoughts directed toward completing tasks and projects, emotions swirling around marriage and settling down with a family.  And what ambitions am I realizing?  I am, or at least I like to think I am, continuing my search for love and truth.  But where this search is unlike a typical “ambition” is in the fact that it will never be achieved by looking forward; it can only be achieved by looking around.  That is to say, it is only found in the present moment. …  The real challenge is to be authentically ME in every moment.  By looking at this as a goal to be achieved, I will never be content, and I will never achieve it.  In each moment, I must ask, who am I?  And then I must lovingly answer with a smile on my face, this is me!”

Tonight I will be attending reconciliation and adoration before Mass, and following that I have Confirmation class.  I made some M&M (Chin Chin, as the Peruvian brand is called) cookies to share with my students, and afterward some of our friends are going to come to the house for more pineapple cake and dancing!  Kelli, Marcelle, and I made a picnic lunch earlier and took it to the park/zoo/forest to enjoy together.  This morning Kelli made me an omelet with toast and coffee before we spent the morning baking!  I opened a few wonderful cards and gifts and received several phone calls from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday.  Every moment of this day has been uniquely full of joy and celebration!  I am so grateful for all that has made this possible.

I would also like to share with you all some of the quote that Kelli wrote inside her gift for me, a Spanish Bible.  It was written by aIta Ford, aMaryknoll Sister who was martyred in El Salvador during the Civil War, to her niece on her niece’s birthday in 1980:

“…What I’m saying is, I hope you come to find that which gives life a deep meaning for you … something worth living for, maybe something worth dying for … something that energizes you, enthuses you, enables you to keep moving ahead.  I can’t tell you what it might be – that’s for you to find, to choose, to love.  I can just encourage you to start looking, and support you in the search…”

That we may all support each other in this search to find that which gives our lives meaning!

to serve and to love... is not easy.

I just brought Mom, Kim, and Ginger to the airport after their weekend visiting me in San Antonio.  It is moments like these that make me wonder what I am doing here.  Being separated from people I love is so hard.  It's not fun, it's not easy, it's not painless.  As my brother recently reminded me, though, moments of discomfort are those that remind us of our need for God.  When we get too comfortable, we begin to think we are indestructible.  We begin to think that we don't need anyone else in our lives!  Being in this position reminds me of how vulnerable I am and I will certainly be relying on the spirit of love working through people around me to sustain me through the next two years.

As always, we look to role models for support.... and for you, my family, a prayer to St. Joseph:

Joseph, strengthen in our family every bond of love which unites us --

the marriage bond,

the love of parent and child,

the bonds of mutual love between all.

Joseph, protect our family from every danger from without

and from every threat to peace, unity and harmony within.

Joseph, teach us to be kind and loving towards one another,

careful for one another,

tolerant of one another,

forgiving towards one another.

Joseph, may contentment with our lot and joy in each other abound in our house,

as we seek faithfully to serve and greatly to love God.

Peace and laughter,

Emily