no eyes but yours

god in a lion suit

2012-02-18T12:22:00.000-06:00

^"People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them." -Mark 10:13-16

Hello everyone!

Here I am updating my blog.. I`m at the sister`s house helping to translate for a meeting, but it turns out they only need me when the connection goes bad so in the meantime I thought I`d write a little update :)

I was supposed to be leaving for a camping trip on the beach in an hour and a half... but last night the few youth leaders who had committed to going all had "last minute changes" in their availability, so the trip is postponed (which means cancelled). It`s okay for me, because we would have had to stay up all night to finish sewing our rice-sack tent. Now we can finish it tranquilamente for the next venture.

Last night was the closing presentation for our kids summer program at the parish. Each class prepared a little number for the parents, which included theater (La Niña de la Selva/The girl from the Jungle), dance (one from the jungle and one from the highland), and a couple of songs. For our English class we presented the camp song "Baby Shark," so they will forever remember that tiburón is shark! (important if they ever find themselves on a beach in the U.S.) It`s amazing how much the emotion and nervousness involved in a formal presentation can really bring people closer together, especially children! The high emotion wasn`t enough to calm some of our most rowdy kids, but I suppose the lion running around stage attacking the other actors when it`s not his turn adds to the entertainment.

We formed a pretty tight community, as several parents told me that their children "acostumbraron," or got used to their classes at the parish. We hope they continue attendance! There`s lots of work to do in terms of building up children`s ministry in our parish, and it`s a tiring job, but I think we did it pretty well!

Lately I`ve been becoming more and more interested in liturgical ministry, especially in relation to youth. I´ve never been a huge fan of Catholic liturgies, finding that my faith really came alive in direct encounters with people, and not so much in the church building. But the institution of our Catholic faith maintains that the liturgy is the center of our shared faith, so I´ve begun to ask, if that`s true, why don`t I feel it? And I think it has a lot to do with the way we go about liturgy. Instead of asking how to make the liturgy come alive for its participants, we restrict ourselves to the way it "should be" or the way it`s always been done. The point of Eucharist, of liturgy, is communion. Why do we not create a space the promotes encounter with the person sitting in front of or behind us? Why our style of praying really reflect the intimacy and union that their words express? If young people are going to see that the liturgy is even more important for our parish community than game nights, sports tournaments, and trips to the beach, all of which we do really well, they need to be shown that it`s true. Just repeating "the liturgy is important, the Eucharist is the center of our fatih" isn`t going to do it. They have to be shown, they have to feel it.

Anyway, theory is one thing. Practice is another. And right now, chasing around a growling 5-year-old boy in a lion suit is what brings us together, what reminds us of our common call. So we`ll continue looking for ways to enhance our faith, but we won`t reject the value of what we have!

Thanks for reading. Would love to hear from you!

Wishing you PEACE in your heart and RESTLESSNESS in your spirit :)

merry christmas and a happy new year!

2012-01-06T11:49:00.000-06:00

Well, Christmas went off with another big bang this year, literally, as midnight was welcomed with lots of Roman candles and sparklers (plus a flower or two). Of course, it was a small show compared to a week later as the streets filled with life-size dolls burning away last year´s old to make room for this year´s new. But back to Christmas. My theater group opened Christmas Eve Mass with the nativity play, in which I starred one of Gabriel´s side-kicks in a white gown with hands folded in prayer and a smile on my face. It went well and the mass was nice-- it was the first Mass said by our new priest, but unfortunately he didn´t give the homily so we didn´t really get a good taste of him yet! After Mass we hung around for awhile, giving Christmas hugs to all our parish friends and taking pictures with the life-size nativity. Then we went home to prepare a delicious dinner of Velveeta macaroni and cheese shells with ketchup (a special treat for us!) until midnight, when we put baby Jesus in the nativity and went outside to light fireworks with all the neighbors. We mixed the Peruvians traditions with our own and waited til Christmas Day to open presents (by the way thank you for all the cards and gifts!) and lounge around.

But Christmas wasn´t all relaxing! Since I work in youth ministry in our parish, it was also an important time for activities. As has become tradition, the youth movement's biggest Christmas project this year was a chocolotada for about 60 of the poorest children in our parish. But unlike tradition, this year we decided to do it a little differently. They still received the signature panetón and hot chocolate, but the event was not advertised as a chocolotada. Instead, we designed it as a birthday party for Jesus. With animation similar to that typical of birthday parties here, each youth group presented a fun Christmas song or skit. I acted as Wendy in my theater group´s presentation of Peter Pan 2. The show culminated in a live representation of Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, and angels (featuring my very own housemate Katie doing her best to hold a crying, hair-pulling, very heavy baby Jesus). After circling the patio with the holy family, the kids re-entered the party room, where their gifts were arranged around a candle. Each child then received a paper heart with the explanation that Jesus doesn´t need us to gift him expensive things, just our hearts. One by one, they located their heart next to the candle, picked up a gift, and handed the gift to another child. Amazingly, their pacience lasted almost to the last child, when they did start getting a little ansy! It was a beautiful celebration (with very few flaws) in which the youth groups united together to give a clear message to the kids: Christmas isn´t about the gifts we receive but about sharing the love that Jesus came to give us. Perhaps the kids got more excited by the piñatas at the end, but Jesus´ love was very apparent in the laughter, sincerity and participation of the youth and children alike.

New Year´s was also wonderful with a visit from my brother, Scott! I think he got a good taste of Chimbote at New Years... fish smell, burning dolls and fireworks, and ceviche. Now it´s time to get into full summer mode-- hot weather, snow cones, beach, volleyball, home improvements, summer school at the parish, evening games at the youth center, etc. This week my community mates and I are cleansing our bodies. That means nothing but raw veggies, apples, vegetable broth, and juiced fruits! By the end of the seven days our insides should be thanking us for flushing out all the sugar and grease that has been consumed in the past month... though right now I really just want a big bowl of rice and a Reese´s!

Thanks for reading! I wish you a very happy new year as you embark anew on God´s mission for you in the world!

Reaping the fruits of 4-H and shop class

2011-12-19T19:45:00.000-06:00

I have to say that while being here I’ve learned to appreciate my mom more than I ever had before. Living in a community not only means that we get to eat together, learn Spanish together, laugh together, and cry together, we also get to care for a house together. But caring for a house is a lot more work than I thought, and it’s not just because of the Chimbote dust. Sweeping never ends, dishes never end, dusting never ends, bathrooms are never perfectly clean, the table is never cleared off for more than five minutes, etc., etc., etc. BUT as a house of hospitality it’s also a lot of fun – because cleaning isn’t something we do only for ourselves, but for our friends, neighbors, and coworkers to whom we open our home. Our community goal of participating in the culture of hospitality that surrounds us also inspires us to creatively make our home a more inviting, comfortable place. Thus leading to the reason for the title of this blog post…

One of those ideas was sparked by Katie, who has been set on getting a lamp for our living room for several weeks now. Finally one afternoon she and I went downtown to price some lamps, and discovered the neither the styles available nor their corresponding prices gelled with our needs. So I said Katie, I think we can just build a lamp!

With a little help from the internet to brush up my electrical skills and some perusing around the house to find discarded or unneeded objects, we did it! Our living room is now graced with a beautiful (dare I say?), quirky, symbolic lamp make with (almost) completely recycled materials. And I only blew the power out once J Definitely a purple ribbon, if not best of show ;) Here’s a little description, not for bragging purposes, but to maybe inspire you to make something cool out of old junk that’s lying around!

We started by buying the necessary electrical parts for a lamp – the light socket, cord, and plug – which in the U.S. can be bought in a lamp kit but here are sold individually. We also bought a small piece of plastic tubing, some wire, and super glue. Then we identified a cool-looking plastic bottle from our extensive collection of bottles waiting to be recycled. The base of the lamp was constructed by fitting the tube from the neck of the bottle to the bottom corner, stringing the cord through it, and attaching the light socket on top. We filled around the tube with sand that Kelli retrieved from a sand dune just down the road and… complete! You can fill the inside with other little things as well… we added around the top the words, “Ustedes son la luz del mundo,” which means “You are the light of the world,” from the Gospel of Matthew.

Now for the lamp shade. We used two wire hangers and bent them into squares, then attached them at the corners with a second plastic bottle, cut into strips. This I first tried to cover with tissue paper and then decorate with used matches (we have a gas stove), but it was a little sub-par quality. So we thought a little harder and came up with using an old T-shirt, which in our case ended up being my bilingual Incarnate Word Missionaries shirt, which was too big for me anyway! A little cutting (don’t take for granted your rotary cutter – children’s scissors make the job a little more frustrating!) and sewing (also don’t take for granted your sewing machine!) led to the (almost) perfectly-fitted lampshade cover. To attach the lampshade, we wrapped wire around the bottom lampshade frame and looped it to wrap around the neck of the bottle. Voilà! And it’s even IWM-themed J Here you can pictures of the front and back… the fact that both designs ended up being centered was pure luck! Yay for recycled products!

Another post to come soon to share about our Christmas celebrations… I wish you all a very joyful and peaceful Christmas! Another opportunity to realize how truly BLESSED we are that our God chose to come to the earth and be one of us… God doesn’t want to be far away and scary. In the beginning God was the word, but the word was made FLESH in order to be closer to us. I pray that this year’s celebration truly allows you to feel that closeness.

Thanks for reading! I would love to hear from each and every one of you J Chau!

not forgetting, but forgiving

2011-09-15T11:10:00.000-05:00

This weekend I went for the first time to mass in one of our parish’s chapels, Santo Domingo. The neighborhood is on the outskirts of Chimbote and has a very rural feel. I’ve been walking by it for several months on my way to LENTCH, always noticing it but never inquiring. This past week I finally decided to bring it up to Padre Luciano and see what’s going on there. I went Sunday in hopes of meeting the right people to start developing some kind of outreach to the kids or youth in the neighborhood.

When I walked into the chapel, I saw a very simple room. At the front was the altar, and behind it there was no wall but instead a garden. There were two rows of simple wooden benches and a handful of señoras (elderly women) sitting on the right. I walked in, took a seat near them, and they greeted me and everyone else as they arrived. There ended up being a total of about ten people. Padre Miguel arrived a few minutes after four, and the Mass started.

Until that Mass, it was like any other Sunday for me. Then Padre offered the opening prayer, and added, “Today we are lucky to have here Emily, from the United States, as we commemorate ten years of the attack on her country at the World Trade Center and pray for the thousands of victims from the U.S. and from all over the world.” Ah, of course, the ten year anniversary of 9/11! I had completely forgotten, but as the Mass proceeded, it turned out to be a better commemoration than I could have asked for.

The Gospel for this Sunday was the parable of forgiving others as God forgives us (Matthew, 18: 21-35). Padre Miguel started out his Homily by highlighting the most common message that we understand from this reading – so many times we are so grateful that our loving God forgives even the gravest of our sins, but we are unwilling to forgive our brothers and sisters for the smallest offenses. Then he said, “We have a good opportunity today, as well, to consider the social message of this Gospel.” The message that he proceeded to give re-awoke in me the emotion of 9/11, and it re-ignited my own sentiments about the way we respond to it:

What if warring nations, instead of retaliating with hatred, started with forgiveness? Obviously many people will present arguments of practicality – the government has to worry about the safety of its people, and we should also work to combat systems of evil in the world. But does not hatred simply breed more hatred? Why not strive for national sentiments of forgiveness, understanding, and solidarity with the millions of other people who deal with terrorism every day? Forgiveness does not mean letting the same atrocity happen twice, but it does mean changing the attitude behind our reaction.

With these thoughts I sat as the Mass continued, and Padre Miguel invited me to offer the petitions, even though I was a fist-time visitor in this tight-knit community. This allowed me to step outside my internal reflections and participate in an active way with the community. I received the body of Christ that day with perhaps more conviction and belief than I have in a long time, because I felt the truth of Christ’s message of forgiveness, on the smallest and largest scale.

So as we move on with our lives and the anniversary of 9/11 passes, let us carry not more hatred toward those who carry out acts of terrorism, but forgiveness. Let us pray not that they suffer for what they’ve done but that love, more powerful than the strongest hatred, may fill their hearts. And let our hearts also be filled with love and the courage to work for a more peaceful world.

learning to bear beams of love

2011-08-30T13:46:00.000-05:00

Well, I’ve officially been part of the IWM family for just over a year now. Marcelle, one of my community mates, finished her two years of service and is now back in the states. Katie and Kyle, our two new community mates, have arrived and are starting to gain their footing here in Chimbote. Our community is slowly developing into what we hope will be a solid, supportive household. The four of us are beginning our journey to imitate Christ’s first disciples, who “bore witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus” through the love made manifest in their community (Acts, 5:33). We are willing recipients of your prayers during this important time of transition!

It’s hard to believe that it’s been so long since I left the U.S., but looking back on the past year I know that I have experienced and grown a lot. I have formed lots of life-giving relationships that I already know will be very painful to say goodbye to, and in that process have found little niches in my service sites that help me feel like an active, contributing member, and not just a visitor. All taken into account, I am very happy with my life here in Chimbote.

Amidst the many joys that occur daily in my life, I have lately been struggling with and reflecting a lot upon my own incapacities – incapacity to be everything a friend should be, to be everything a community mate should be, to be everything a missionary should be. I grew up thinking, and rightfully so, that I can do anything I set my heart on. But what is too easy to forget is that it’s not going to go perfectly, and it’s not going to be easy. Likewise, I developed many ideas in college about what it means to be a Catholic missionary, what it means to be a development practitioner and what it means to be a United States native in a foreign country. These ideas are well-ingrained in my thoughts and beliefs, but what is again too easy to forget is that I’m not going to fulfill those roles perfectly, and that it’s not going to be easy. And it hasn’t been.

I will not claim to have made any significant difference in the lives of people here in Chimbote during the past year, but I know that I have discovered much about myself, my capabilities and my limitations, some of which is very exciting and some of which is difficult to swallow. Just this morning I happened to turn to a passage in a collection of writings by Dorothy Day that illuminated my feelings of self-doubt. Her reflection spurs from the words of William Blake: “We are put on earth for a little space that we may learn to bear the beams of love.” She writes:

“Suddenly I remembered coming home from a meeting in Brooklyn many years ago, sitting in an uncomfortable bus seat facing a few poor people. One of them, a downcast, ragged man, suddenly epitomized for me the desolation, the hopelessness of the destitute, and I began to weep. I had been struck by one of those ‘beams of love,’ wounded by it in a most particular way. It was my own condition that I was weeping about—my own hardness of heart, my own sinfulness. I recognized this as a moment of truth, an experience of what the New Catechism calls our ‘tremendous, universal, inevitable, and yet inexcusable incapacity to love’ … Because I felt so strongly my nothingness, my powerlessness to do anything about this horrifying recognition of my own hardness of heart, it drove me to the recognition that in God alone was my strength.”

People sometimes ask, if it is so difficult to choose to live closer to the poor, closer to the world’s most ghastly injustices, and jump into a position of uncertainty where I may or may not have any idea what I’m doing, why do it? I do it, as I think many people do, because by putting myself in a position of completely vulnerability, by losing the ability to depend on family, intelligence, material comforts, language, talents, privacy, and the limitless list of dependencies that we humans foster, all I am left with to depend on is the love of God, made manifest both in the people around me and in myself. And then I begin to realize that only by accepting that love am I capable of sharing it.

So that’s what I’m working on right now… an on-going process that is in every moment more difficult and easier at the same time. But I am thankful for the life I am living, and that it allows me to pursue a spirituality that is fueled by the raw authenticity of the world.

Thank you for letting me share some of my reflections with you! My prayer for you, as much as for myself, is that we can know and accept our limitedness and incapacity in order to fill it with the unlimitedness and infinite capacity of God’s love!

out to sea

2011-07-04T14:25:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone! I hope this writing finds you all well and enjoying the summer! It’s a little crazy for me to imagine you all celebrating the 4^th of July with barbecues and picnics when we’re just getting into the heart of winter here! Of course, winter here is nothing compared to a Nebraska winter, with temperatures oscillating between perhaps 55 and 75, but the open-air nature of the buildings and houses here does allow for the constant coolness to reach under the skin and chill the bones.

This weekend wrapped up the lingering festivities from the celebration of San Pedrito (Saint Peter), who is the patron saint of Chimbote. It was a two-week celebration – the biggest event of the year – with lots of concerts, food and artisan fairs, art and dance exhibits, etc. The first culminating event is the vigil night, June 28, which features a huge concert in the main plaza until about 6 in the morning. I went for a few hours with a group of five people and we had to grab hands and make a train so we wouldn’t get lost in the sea of people! The following day, June 29, is the central day of the fiesta and starts with a boat procession out to sea led by a 2-foot statue of San Pedro. Despite being out late the night before, we were determined to pull ourselves out of bed and take advantage of the unique opportunity to take a boat ride in Chimbote’s bay. It turned out to be quite the adventure…

We left the house later than planned, about 7:30 when we should have left at 7 at the latest. We took a taxi to the main dock for boarding the boats and quickly got in line – a little questioning revealed that the boarding wouldn’t actually start until 9, so we had some time to wait. We had been told, though, that the year before they had waited in line but the boats filled up before they reached the front, so we were willing to wait. Our Peruvian friend went to check out another dock further down the seafront to see if we might have a better opportunity there, and brought back the news that the line we were in would only let us board tiny boats, which could be more dangerous and less comfortable, but the other line would lead us to bigger fishing boats, which could be a more enjoyable ride. So, we decided to abandon our spot in line and head to the other site. We arrived to find a short line of people waiting to board a very large boat, decked out in colorful flags and a five-person band. After a short wait we became uneasy about the random method there seemed to be for letting some people board while others no, so our friend went to inquire. He soon waved us over to the boarding ramp and explained that it was a private boat by invitation only, but he had explained that he had friends from abroad visiting and the captain invited us to join them. After a bit of debate and prodding from the captain’s sister (details of which I won’t go into fully) a couple of us were very uncomfortable with the idea that we would get to board just because we were foreigners while all these other people would be refused entry. So we sent our one roommate with her friend (who really was visiting from the US) on the large boat while three of us (Kelli and I and our Peruvian friend) left to see if we could still get on the smaller boats. Story said and done we easily boarded a small row boat, which carried us to a slightly larger fishing boat and out to sea. It was a 2-hour ride on a small, dirty fishing boat but it was beautiful and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. The waves made us a little uneasy at times but the sights of sea lions, pelicans, rocky islands and open water helped to distract us!

We compiled a little list of some of our San Pedrito experiences on the program blog, http://www.iwmissions.blogspot.com/. I also wrote a little spiritual reflection about Saint Peter and the celebration with that article, so please read if your interest is sparked! It really is a celebration of Chimbote – the culture, the food, and of course the people! It’s a beautiful display of pride and unity that I hope is reflected in the U.S. during this holiday season!

Apart from the celebrations, my activities are going well! My main activities are coordinating the parish youth council, organizing activities for the youth movement, helping teach Confirmation and First Communion, teaching English, participating in the parish theater group and volunteering at an after-school program for children who work on the streets of Chimbote. I generally fill my spare time with preparations, one-on-one help with English or computers, cleaning the house, reading, praying, heading downtown, cooking, watching Kelli practice tricks on her spinning top, enjoying Marcelle’s cooking, playing music with friends, hanging out with the Sisters, catching up with the lives of friends and family on Facebook (haha, hint hint, call me!), etc., etc., etc.

As we celebrate the 4^th of July, I pray that it can be a time of unity and that our pride (or whatever feeling it may be) in our home country may drive us to act on behalf of a stronger and healthier global community where dignity for all is our top priority: “One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL.”

Peace,

Emily

we are a resurrection people

2011-05-06T12:21:00.001-05:00

I’m so sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written! I didn’t realize. There have been so many occasions in which I thought about writing, or had something to share, and just never got to it…. But here I am!

We just got back yesterday from our annual retreat. We went to Tortugas, a little beach town about an hour south of here. It was really rejuvenating to have the ambiance of the ocean waves and tranquility of Tortugas to facilitate a few days of reflection and prayer. It was led by Herman Katty, one of the Incarnate Word sisters here. She is our age but much older in wisdom and at the same time much younger in the childlike joy that she finds in everyday life. She is also Peruvian so the retreat was led in Spanish which was an exciting challenge for us. I could share lots of details but overall I feel like I have a new energy for my service sites and my house community! You can read a small piece of my reflections at the IWM blog, where we posted personal versions of the Beatitudes that we wrote during the retreat.

We celebrated Easter here with lots of enthusiasm! A Peruvian (and widely Latin American) tradition is to act out the Way of the Cross through the neighborhood streets on Good Friday. Good Friday is actually a bigger celebration than Easter, I think because for a people who have suffered or are suffering greatly, it is easier to identify with the crucified Christ than with the Risen Christ. And with all the killing in the world, whether it be the slow and subtle murder of a malnourished child by an imbalanced society or the direct and calculated murder of an identified individual in the midst of war, it is easy to see Christ being crucified in our world today. The difference is that we weren’t there when Jesus walked the way of Calvary, so we couldn’t take a stand, though we like to think we would have. But today we can. That’s why we are called to accompany those who suffer most—so that we can say no to the suffering of Jesus in our world today and all rise up in the Resurrection together.

Back to the story… the theater group I participate in in our parish coordinated the acting and I played the part of a bad person in the pueblo, yelling “Crucify him, crucify him!” through the whole process. Since we rehearsed the Vía Cruces, as it’s called in Spanish, for weeks beforehand, I felt like I was living the Passion of Jesus for a long time, and was thus really ready to live the Resurrection!

To celebrate the Resurrection we planned an all-night vigil/retreat for the youth movement. It started with the Saturday night vigil Mass at 8… though for me it started Saturday morning with a market run to get all the supplies. Saturday afternoon we started cooking the lamb and unleavened bread. After Mass we did some icebreaker-type games and then sat down to share a Jewish-style Passover meal—a very cool experience. The rest of the night was filled with more games, a movie, and a campfire. Around the campfire each individual got to share a bit of their testimony… or really how they were drawn into the parish. It was a really neat time to hear their stories and reflect on how God’s call is uniquely designed for every one of us. We ended at 6 a.m. with a short prayer… then I went home and slept for two hours before returning to the church for First Communion class, which was also really fun! We have class from 9:30-11, and at 11 we have a children’s mass. We still have communion, though obviously there are only a few of us who receive it. That day I went up to receive communion, and when I went back to my seat two of my 9-year-old girls turned around to face me. Their eyes were filled with curiosity and they excitedly asked me, “Does it taste good? Is that what we’re going to get?” I said yes, it tastes like happiness and peace, and yes, you will be able to receive it in November, and they looked at each other as their eyes and smiles widened. It reminded me of my own excitement to be able to walk up with all the grown-ups and receive the Eucharist, and even though I had a very simple understanding of what was happening, I think we would do well to share a bit of that childlike excitement as we walk up to communion!

After First Communion I went to theater practice for a little while, which was a celebration of the completion of the Vía Cruces and Easter—also lots of fun, because I just love being with the other members of the group. I left early to return to my house for Easter lunch… lasagna and brownie sundaes! It was a WELCOME treat after our Lenten diet. In the afternoon I was able to talk with my family and in the evening went to a meeting with the Confirmation catechist team before going to Mass in the evening. By that time I was started to crash but the whole day was very joy-filled and I wouldn’t change a second of it! (Re-reading this paragraph I realized it was FULL of exclamation points… and still has lots… but that’s because it was a very exciting day, even meriting multiple exclamation points in true Peruvian style!!! (sorry, Ginger ))

It’s a crazy thing to write a message to the general public, never knowing who might read it, but whoever and wherever you are, thank you for reading! We share our experiences so that we can all become better at loving and serving our neighbor, and we all have a perspective to offer. I thank you for considering mine and would love to hear from you as well!

I wish you joy and energy during this Easter season and beyond, and wish you the strength to respond to the call that you feel in your heart!

Lent & Tsunamis

2011-03-15T12:01:00.002-05:00

Less than a month since my last post… I hope you are all doing well in this Lenten season! Things are good for me here in Chimbote. The past couple weeks have been really busy and a little stressful with preparations for our Catechesis programs in the parish and for English classes… as well as some organizational challenges with the youth movement. Both Catechesis and English start the first week in April so we’ve been working on making flyers, visiting the local schools, solidifying our leadership teams, and making the yearly plans. Organizing meetings is the most difficult part, because nights are really the only available time, and it’s impossible to accommodate everyone’s schedules. We (the missionaries) are also taking a little bit more leadership in the new English cycle. Kelli and I will each be teaching a class by ourselves, and so we’ve made a few organizational changes and right now we’re working on advertising to draw a larger number of people to the classes. LENTCH is on a break right now before starting again in April, so that has given me more time to work on other projects, but needless to say I can’t remember the last time I had a free night!

With all this going on I am also trying to embrace the reflective spirit of Lent. As a community we decided on a sort of material fast to radicalize the simplicity of our home. To do that, we decided to quit using electricity… which means no lights, no radio, no microwave, no refrigerator, no blender, no charging laptops (and no movies), phones, or cameras. We stocked up on candles, so the evenings are kind of fun. Some things are just starting to get challenging, and I think with time perhaps we will get tired of dealing with the inconvenience, which we hope will spark greater reflection. We also decided to simplify our meals, so our lunch menu every day (except Sundays) consists of rice, beans, and a vegetable of choice. This will also spark reflection as we tire of eating the same thing every day, and it lets us dedicate less time and energy for cooking, hopefully allowing for more personal reflection time or time to spend with others. It also creates solidarity between the three of us as we challenge ourselves with the same fast.

Personally, I am focusing more on my prayer and reflection, meaning trying to go to bed consistently earlier so that I have energy to reflect on the day, looking closely at those moments in which I felt most alive and those moments through which I struggled, asking how I can approach similar situations in the future in a better way. It’s a continual process, for sure.

Something a bit more interesting… we, like people all over the world, were heartbroken with the news of the earthquake in Japan. Without undermining the gravity of the situation, I would say the climate here that day was quite interesting as Chimbote prepared for a tsunami. People were out in the streets, meetings were cancelled, and one of our friends came over because, as his office is located very close the ocean, his workplace sent everyone home early. All anyone could talk about was the tsunami—how big would it be, what would it be like, would we be safe, etc. There was also talk of another earthquake happening here in Peru. In the end, we did have a tsunami…. the strongest wave reported at a whopping 20 centimeters. Many Chimbotanos went to sleep that night relieved, but many went to sleep disappointed at the missed chance for some excitement in Chimbote. But thank God, and send more prayers to Japan.

With that I will end for today. Again there is so much I could say… little by little. Thank you for accompanying me on my journey. It is best that we make the journey through the desert together! No sense in trying to do it alone. Prayers, peace, and discontent to you!

love deeply

2011-03-04T10:38:00.000-06:00

Wow, I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve last written! My apologies… it’s amazing how time flies. Our community posted an entry this week on the IWM Blog. I’m including my part at the end of this post but I encourage you to read the entire entry as well. But first a few general updates…

Classes are starting this week at most primary and secondary schools in Chimbote. The universities are still on vacation until April, so my schedules are slowly changing. The summer program at LENTCH has ended and we will soon be starting the regular academic reinforcement classes three afternoons a week. I loved helping out in the classroom during the summer program, though there were many challenging and frustrating moments. The kids in my classroom are starting to become more comfortable with me, asking me more questions and talking more freely. This is a double-edged sword, as I love learning more about their lives but the more I learn the more frustrated I become by the challenges they face. When we got to Chimbote, sure, it was definitely clear that poverty exists here, but perhaps partly due to previous experiences it wasn’t something that shocked me or slapped me in the face. With time it is becoming all too clear that economic stratification and problems of hunger, abuse, sickness, and lack of education (etc., etc.,) are very, very real. The detail for me lies in recognizing the injustice and combating it not with anger at an abstract system, but with love, with concrete actions of love toward individuals. Our director Clare recently shared with me a quote from a friend of hers: “We did not change the world, but we loved it deeply.” This thought struck me in a very strong way. It is not to say that we should not hope to change the world, because the very task set before us is to construct the reign of God. The way to do so, though, is not to bring more hatred and bitterness into the world (even if it is directed at sinful structures) but to experience a genuine love for all that is before us in the present moment. This love will change the world, but that’s not the point. The point is to love.

Those are my reflections, at least. I could write so much more, but I want you to read my other post as well, so I’ll stop for now. Soon I will try to write more… there is so much that I could talk about! I am learning a lot about the fishing economy here and I want to share some of what I’ve learned, but I’ll save it for a separate post. I also want to tell you about some of my kids at LENTCH because they are truly amazing. I want to tell you about Kelli’s birthday party, I want to tell you about the continual joys and challenges in the parish, I want to tell you about teaching English, I want to tell you about hiking Cerro de la Paz with the Sisters, I want to tell you about the beach, I want to tell you about my living community, I want to tell you about the mimed played we are working on in theater… is there any need to go on? If you are particularly intrigued by something, please let me know, or if you have any questions or comments or wishes or stories of your own to share, please share!

I wish you all the joy of the present moment! With no further ado, please read on…

“Because food is always better when shared”

I never know if I should laugh, be disgusted, or feel accomplished when my economic lessons find their way into my everyday thought processes. It happens often, not surprising considering the extent to which our community revolves around the exchange of goods. Three mornings a week I head off walking to Casa LENTCH, an academic and social support program for children who work in the streets of Chimbote. I have come to enjoy my 20-minute walk as a time to mentally prepare for the chaos of the classroom and soak up the sights, smells, and sounds of the neighborhood.

One morning a couple blocks before arriving, I encountered two of our boys, brothers, about 13 and 7, buying food at the corner store. They each bought a small package of crackers and an Inca Kola. I waited but walked a bit ahead of them, as they walked slowly, probably wanting to finish their breakfast before arriving. The older of the two opened his crackers and offered me one. I immediately thought, I can’t eat his breakfast, especially not knowing when he had last eaten. Still, I smiled, thanked him, accepted the cracker, and took this small act as an opportunity to enter into conversation. “We came from San Luis,” he said. I had visited San Luis, a neighborhood on the south side of Nuevo Chimbote, at least a 45-minute trip. “There probably won’t be many kids here today,” he continued. “It’s Valentine’s Day-- they’ll all be downtown.” I hadn’t thought of that, but of course, with so many people out shopping for gifts, they would want to take advantage of the increased business. I mulled with that as I thought, ah, but you are still here because your utility curves provide that the benefit of studying and eating at LENTCH outweighs the opportunity cost of the money you could be making downtown. We approached the open gate. “How good that you are here, though,” I told him, and he nodded. We entered and casually parted ways.

As I walked toward my classroom I took note of which students were present, wondering how they decided upon the best way to spend the day, a classic example employed by economics teachers when teaching opportunity cost. Should a seven-year-old boy spend his summer day doing cartwheels at stoplights for money or learning how to add and playing soccer? Applied economics in action, but I’m not sure if I should feel accomplished, be disgusted, or cry.

Read the full blog here: http://www.iwmissions.blogspot.com/

A group photo from LENTCH.. can you find me?

accomplishing the common things

2011-01-28T11:46:00.000-06:00

“You are a unique person made by God capable of loving and being loved. Accomplish the common things in life in uncommon ways.” –George Washington

At this point in my life, I am realizing that being a missionary isn’t necessarily about have a packed schedule of organized service, but about turning everything I do into an act of service. With that, I’d love to fill you all in a bit on my day-to-day activities…

It’s about ten o’clock in the morning right now and I’m sitting at my kitchen table typing on the laptop. We don’t have internet in the house but it’s nice to have a computer so we don’t have to spend so much time on the internet when we want to write e-mails or blogs or print documents. I’m realizing that I haven’t shared many details about my living situation in general, so I’ll share a bit more about the house. Our house is located on the edge of Dos de Mayo and Magdalena, two neighborhoods in northeast Chimbote. They are well-established neighborhoods, but still considered “young towns” because they were originally started as invasions, or essentially squatter communities. Most of the houses around us are constructed of cement and are fairly good in terms of quality, but many have unfinished second floors or attachments constructed of estera, or a woven reed-like material. Walking north or east of our house will lead you to the edge of Chimbote, where there are many more houses constructed completely of estera. Our house is very similar to those in the immediate vicinity minus the fact that it’s huge. We have two complete stories, with four bedrooms, a huge living room partially divided in two, two bathrooms, a large dining room, kitchen, and large patio and garden out back. Just before Thanksgiving we painted our living room orange, so it feels much more lively and homey than it did before. We are slowly making changes and improvements using the resources we have to make it our own and make it a welcoming space for visitors. In terms of amenities, we are a step above most of our neighbors because we have a water well behind our house and a pump that carries the water to a tank on top of the house. All the houses in this area of town have running water, but the water is only turned on for a couple hours in the morning and night, so houses without a well are more limited in terms of water usage. A few weeks ago our pump broke for about a week, so we filled buckets from the well to use for showering, drinking, washing clothes/dishes, flushing toilets, etc. For drinking or cooking the water must be boiled. What else… ah, yes, we don’t have a water heater, so the options are a cold/lukewarm shower or a hot bucket shower. When it was colder I generally opted for the bucket shower, but now that it’s summer the cold showers are no problem. We also don’t have a washing machine so we wash clothes by hand and hang dry them, but it’s not a bad chore. Our other big chore is dusting and sweeping, because our street isn’t paved yet so the dust is incredible. We cook all our own food in the house, but fruits or vegetables must be eaten cooked and/or washed with dish soap.

This week we got a new addition to the house – ducks! A friend of ours has about a hundred ducklings to get rid of, so after a careful decision process we decided to adopt three of them. As you can see in the picture, we built a little corral in the back corner of our patio for them. We have yet to name them but that’s our next task! And that’s our hammock in the background… :)

Now a little bit in terms of daily activities… it’s a little difficult because I don’t necessarily have a regular schedule, every day is a little bit different. That fact is intensified because of summer vacation (Jan-Feb), when most programs take a break. I’ve started to fall into a bit of a routine this week, though. I’ve been getting up at 6:15 to go running with a couple friends, which I love! Some mornings it’s a little painful but we run down the street I love on straight out of Chimbote to a sand dune. I love this little escape into the country, seeing all the farmers heading to town with donkey carts loaded with goods to sell (usually corn). This morning while the others ran laps on top of the sand dune (which my legs don’t find very agreeable… haha), I picked a little peak off to the sand and did a little meditating… it was so beautiful to sit there, looking out over the fields, listening to the sounds of birds, donkey hoofs, and distant mucic, letting the cool morning breeze wash over me. I’ve learned to wear bug spray when I go running, because the other day I returned to the house with 30 bug bites between my legs and arms. I’m still recovering from that one!

Anyway, back to my daily activities. My mornings right now are generally filled by cleaning the house, going to the market, or running random errands downtown. Yesterday morning I went with Sister Katty, who recently returned from a semester studying in Mexico, to the public university, where she was part of the leadership team for the campus Catholic ministry. It was their last gathering of the school year, as classes just ended about a week ago, but it was so good! The priest was super animated and the mass was very participatory and informal… it was the most life-giving mass that I’ve attended here. They don’t start again until April but if it seems appropriate at that time I might get involved with student ministry there. Sister Katty, who is actually a student at a private university here, prefers to participate in the campus ministry at the public university because tuition is free, so the students with more economic challenges study there. It also just felt really good to be back on a college campus. So we’ll see what comes of that!

There have also been some exciting advancements in the parish: we have officially opened the youth center! With a couple games sent by my sister (they love playing UNO, Ginger!) and some games that we bought here, we open the youth room three nights a week from 8-10 so they can come hang out and play games. We also open the parish center for sports one additional night and Saturday afternoons to play soccer or volleyball. So right now I am at the parish Wed-Sat from 8-10 at night plus Saturday from 4-7, and then I have theater practice at the parish on Sundays from 10ish-1ish, plus masses and miscellaneous meetings. I love this time with our parishioners and am really starting to feel at home with them.

And I can’t forget to mention the blank spaces filled by summer activities! Trips to the pool or the beach are also at the back of my mind to plan, though so far I’ve only made it once to the pool and have yet to get to the beach. But summer in Chimbote means VOLLEYBALL! Peruvians love their volleyball and they are GOOD… it’s a sign of summer to see a group of kids (or adults, really) playing volleyball on side streets with their nets stretched between two telephone poles. There are a couple families that put up their net every night about a block from our house and I finally went and played with them a few nights ago. Since then I’ve played almost every night, and even won a little money! It does make for some late nights, but hey, that’s summer! The weather is hot, but there’s usually a cool breeze and it’s quite comfortable in the shade, so taking advantage of our hammock is a favorite after-lunch activity…

Okay, if you made it this far, you are probably tiring of reading, so I think I’ll stop there. You are all continually in my thoughts and prayers… my prayer for you all right now is that you continually find the JOY in the small things. I had a conversation over ceviche the other day with the coordinator of the theater group and expressed my doubts about having anything real to offer to this community. He said, “Of course you have something to offer, tu alegría!” (your happiness!). So that we all remember that in every encounter, in every situation, we do have something to offer!

I would love to hear from you, or answer any questions or cloudy spots that may exist about what I’m doing here… or about life… or really anything!

PAZ y ALEGRÍA for you.

the church in chimbote

2011-01-13T09:52:00.000-06:00

Since studying a bit of liberation theology in college I have developed a strong interest in the Catholic church and how it lives out its mission, but I had no idea what I was getting immersed in by joining the Incarnate Word Sisters in Peru. I really had no intention of getting super involved in parish activities… and then by some strange twist of fate (or maybe that’s just how God works) the parish work here just drew me in. It has been in many aspects frustrating, in others encouraging, in others very life-giving. I have definitely seen mixed signals of the vitality of the church in Chimbote… we face challenges of participation and commitment, but we also have many religious and lay people are who dedicated to building the reign of God here in Chimbote.

This week was the Diocesan Assembly to reveal the pastoral strategy for the coming year in light of the most recent Latin American bishops conference, Aparecida (a conference in which the bishops gather to re-orient the direction of the Latin American church). I really enjoyed hearing the bishop speak on this topic – he spoke very passionately and directly about the challenges and opportunities facing the Church in Chimbote. Always being a bit cynical I would have liked to hear more about our personal responsibility to restore dignity to the poor and less about the need to make sure young people learn the Creed… but it was made clear that the Church has a preferential option for the poor, and I do understand that there are real problems with catechesis programs here, so I’m overall pretty satisfied. He also said that every family should have a copy of Aparecida in their home, which is pretty amazing, especially for me, coming from the U.S., where it seems very, very few people actually read anything put out by the bishops.

Along the same lines, our monthly diocesan newspaper came out this month and included an article written by a Spanish priest who works in San Luis, one of Chimbote’s “young towns/pueblos jóvenes” (area of new development, but very poor development with terrible living conditions). He offers a great introduction to the message of Aparecida and the preferential option for the poor, which I have written about before. I liked it so much that I took the liberty of translating it into English so you all could read it and understand a little bit more about the role the Catholic Church plays, or should play, or tries to play and often fails, or plays in some occasions but not others (you get the point), in Latin America and in the world. I especially love his interpretation of charity, which is inseparable from a critical assessment of the structural causes of poverty. Enjoy.

The Church and the hope of the poor

by Father Fernando AsínCastellón (Mar Adentro, January 2011)

“(The option for the poor) asks us to dedicate time to the poor, pay kind attention to them, listen to them with interest, and accompany them in their most difficult moments, choosing to share with them hours, weeks, or years of our lives and searching with them to transform their situation” (Aparecida, 397).

“All that which has to do with Christ has to do with the poor, as Jesus said, ‘When you did this for the least of my brothers and sisters, you did it for me’ (Matthew 25:40)” (Aparecida, 393).

The preferential option for the poor should permeate all of our structures and pastoral priorities. It must be manifested in visible options and gestures, principally in the defense of life and of the rights of the most vulnerable and excluded and in the sustained accompaniment in their efforts to be agents of change and transformation in their situations.

The social doctrine of the Church (I prefer to say “the social message of the Church”) is capable of stirring up hope in the midst of the most difficult situations, because if there is no hope for the poor, there will not be hope for anybody, not even for those called rich.

“Only the proximity that allows friendship permits us to profoundly appreciate the value of today’s poor, their legitimate yearnings and their own style of living the faith. The preferential option for the poor should lead us to friendship with the poor.

“Day after day, the poor make themselves agents of evangelization and integral human promotion: they educate their children in the faith, they live a constant solidarity between relatives and neighbors, and they constantly seek God and give life to the Church’s pilgrimage” (Aparecida, 398).

Of course, each parish community should have a catechetical team and a liturgical team. But it would remain crippled without also having a team for parish charity. And, at the diocesan level, the diocesan charity team promotes and supports the parish when they don’t have the capacity for full human development projects.

The charitable team must meet three objectives. First, it must provide social assistance, which would help and accompany those who suffer from immediate lack of food, medicine, money for transportation, etc. A second objective is the communication of these necessities to the greater Christian community and the denunciation of the situation of poverty and injustice and its causes. The third objective, no less important, is to carry out human and social development projects which signal the Reign of God.

The preferential option for the poor, said Pope Benedict XVI in the opening address of the Conference of Aparecida, is implicit in faith in a Christ who God made poor for us, in order to enrich our lives with his poverty. I hope that we have the same attitude as Christ and continue his path.

me pican mis ojos! an anecdote

2011-01-05T21:55:00.000-06:00

If anyone ever tells you that Peruvian chili peppers are like no other, believe them.

Kelli and I went to the market on New Year´s Eve morning with stir fry on our minds for lunch. One of the last items on the list were peppers, so by the time we started looking for them we were a little tired and came upon a stand with ricotto peppers, the hotter variety, and asked if they had some that were less picante, or spicey. They man pointed some out and we bought them. We got back to the house in somewhat of a rush because our friend Giancarlo was going to be coming over to help us finish our muñeco, or doll, that we were going to burn that night to celebrate the coming of the new year, and we had to clean the house in the afternoon to get ready for the night as well. So I frantically started cutting up the vegetables. When I cut the peppers, I made a mental note to wash my hands before doing anything else. I didn't notice any burning sensation in my hands or eyes so assumed they were probably good enough to cook and eat with the stir fry. Just as I was finishing, I heard a knock at the door so I stopped to let him in to work on the doll. I walked from the kitchen to the front door fixing my pony tail a bit, typical mindless rearrangements that I do a million times a day. And then... for some unknown reason also felt the mindless urge to wipe my eyes, one hand on each eye, a really good wipe, no messing around. Just as I opened the front door, it hit me, and I doubled over, squeezed my eyes shut and yelled out.... ahh, the pain! Poor Giancarlo, so confused, helped me run, eyes closed, to the bathroom and started to help me throw water on my eyes, yelling instructions at me all the while. ¨Don´t use your hands, Emilia, they pica! Here, wash them with this bar of soap. Nope, they still pica. Keep washing them.¨ Then he filled a bucket with water and just had me stick my head in it, essentially. Ah, relief. And come out to breathe. Still burn. Resubmerge. Here let me rub ice cubes on your eyes. Ah, relief. Dang that´s really cold. Still burns. Let me wash my face with soap. No, your hands still burn. Wait. More ice. More water. Relief. Ok, use a little soap. And apparently Peruvian medicine says that oils in females´ hair relieves the pica, so we rubbed my hair over my eyes as well... it was all very chaotic. And very painful. I was a little worried about damaging my eyesight.

Luckily the redness went down before the New Year´s Eve celebration. Just one of many crazy things that happen here, to give you a little taste.

Next time you eat something and have the option to use hot sauce... do it. And think of Peru.

christmas in peru

2010-12-27T17:12:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of my family and friends!

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve last written, and lots of exciting things have happened! Most of my activities have finished for the moment because of the holiday season and summer vacation, but the past week was busy with Christmas preparations. Perú has very strong Christmas customs, and I really enjoyed immersing in the local traditions. There were also lots of bittersweet moments as the joy of the holidays clashed with the hard realities faced by this community.

During the week leading up to Christmas, the city was busy withchocolotadas, which are celebrations, generally for children, with hot chocolate and panetón, a sweet bread with dried fruit and gummy chunks in it. On Monday the youth movement in our parish hosted a chocolotada for children in need in our parish zone, and I wrote about it in our community blog here: http://www.iwmissions.blogspot.com/

My week was also busy with rehearsals for the Christmas play, put on by TEFA (TeatroFranciscano), the theater group in our parish. Due to a bit of a personnel shortage, I played Elizabeth, then an innkeeper, then a shepherd. I’m really enjoying getting to know the members of the theater group… they have lots of good energy and it is so apparent that sharing the spirit of love and community through theater makes them feel alive, and this brings me life as well.

Our Christmas festivities began with our theater performance at 9:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve, just before the Mass. It went well and the Mass was beautiful with the choir singing Christmas songs. It is Peruvian custom to gather with family Christmas Eve night and wait for midnight of Christmas Day, when the celebration really beings! We had been invited by the family of our friend Analí to join them for their family celebration, so we headed over to their house after Mass, arriving around 11 p.m. They had arrived just a half hour or so earlier from selling things downtown all day (because the downtown is packed with people on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day), so they were pretty tired but in good spirits (despite low sales… there hasn’t been much fish lately so there’s not a lot of money in Chimbote… the whole city’s economy depends on the fishing industry). We hung out with them until midnight, talking and watching Gregory, their 7-year-old son, play with sparklers. Then at midnight, the custom is to give everyone a Christmas hug (family and close friends), place Baby Jesus in the nativity scene (which they asked Kelli and I to do!), light fireworks (the whole neighborhood was full of the sights and sounds of fireworks... it was crazy!), and eat Christmas dinner. Our Christmas dinner consisted of turkey (delicious… though they said they had never eaten turkey for Christmas before… probably because it is much more expensive than chicken), French fries (with mayonnaise and salsa, of course), lettuce salad, hot chocolate (which they drink tons of during Christmas, even though it’s summer here… and they make the real kind with bars of chocolate, milk, water, cinnamon, and cloves), and panetón. It was a great meal. Then we sat and talked for a while… and around 1:30 or so Analí received a phone call asking if she could come sing at a Christmas party (she sings as a side job). Even though she was feeling terrible and very tired after working all day, she said she had to go because she is trying to earn enough money to get an ultrasound of her baby (she’s six months pregnant and the father wants nothing to do with it). The party happened to be close to our house, so we left in a taxi with her and came home. It was a great night, and they are a wonderful family… but it is hard to feel really good about it having to end like that.

We had been told prior to Christmas Eve night that the custom is to celebrate all night long. Well, we got home around 2 assuming our night was over, when five minutes later the phone rang. A few of our friends were wanting to go out! So we did…. We went to a friend’s house and listened to music, danced a bit, and talked… until about 7 a.m. It was super fun! It wasn’t quite as fun three hours later, when we woke up to get ready for Christmas lunch at the Sisters’… but definitely worth it!

Christmas Day, then, we had lunch at the Sisters’ with a group of about 20 religious men and women from different congregations in Chimbote. It was a lot of fun getting to know a few sisters and a brother sitting at my table, and the food was great! After lunch we played cards for a couple hours with some Dominican Sisters from the states. And after that I got to Skype with my family!

That about sums up the festivities. Now we await New Year’s Eve, which we hear is an even bigger all-night celebration, beginning at midnight with dinner with family, after which everyone goes out to celebration in the streets with friends and neighbors. Should be a great time!

It is definitely difficult to be so far from family during the holidays, and I miss them a lot! I am very blessed, though, to have already begun to form mi familiaChimbotana who help me to feel welcome and loved in my home here.

If you aren’t tired of reading yet, I again encourage you to check out our community blog (site above). I hope you all are feeling the love of family, friends, and God this holiday season!

a bit of economics

2010-12-01T10:20:00.000-06:00

My desire to volunteer abroad has always been rooted in a strong belief in a preferential option for the poor. That can mean many things and can be explained in many ways, but for Catholics it comes from our most fundamental call to serve God. While he was alive, Jesus told his disciples very plainly that when they acted concretely with love for the poorest members of their community they were serving him. It all seems a bit abstract, which is the point. I continually fail to grasp this concept, except when I actually live it out. That’s when it becomes so clear.

I want to share a story with you with as many details as possible, not to try to stun anybody or make your feel guilty, but just to paint as good of picture as I can of what it’s like. Yesterday I went with two social workers who work for LENTCH, a program for children who are or have been working on the streets (selling stuff, singing or dancing, etc.), to visit some homes of the children. (Side note: I think this is going to be one of my regular activities in addition to the parish work). We paid four soles (Peruvian currency, pronounced SOUL-ace, more to come about that below) to travel up to Villa Leslie, a recently “developed” area of the city, with sand streets, no electricity yet, and limited water access. One of the homes we visited was that of a mother and probably five or six of her ten children, at least three of whom are grown women with children of their own, all living in the same structure. I say “structure” so as not to give you an image of a typical house in the U.S. The walls are made of a woven reed-like material, and two rooms had roofs of the same material. I only saw into one of the two rooms, which had an old, small twin bed with a thin, dirty mattress. The rest was a large open area, serving as the family room, play room, and chicken coop. The turkeys and chickens roam freely among the children, with the rabbits in a hutch against one wall. The mother tells us that the large turkey will bring 200 soles when she sells it. I remember just a few days ago when we were dismayed by the high price of turkey for Thanksgiving.

On the positive side, this family had been selected by LENTCH to receive a prefabricated wooden house, and we were there to deliver to news that it will be delivered next week. While the social workers were explaining this to the mother, one of the children came in from behind the house and told us that the neighbor girl (also part of our program) had been bit on the leg by a dog. When she finally came in we saw the gash, not huge but definitely cause to worry. Long story short, I ended up cleaning it, with a bit of water (generally not clean), soap, and a T-shirt rag. As I wiped the wound as rigorously as I had the heart to, Lourdes remained expressionless. I knelt there in the sand, trying to block her leg from the wind, wiping the blood, thinking there was no way I could get all the dirt out of her wound, hoping the dog didn’t have any diseases, wondering what was the likelihood that her mother would take her to the hospital, picturing the large bottle of peroxide and tube of Neosporin sitting unused in my own home, balancing the soap on my leg so as not to drop it in the sand as well. When we contemplate the crucifixion of Jesus, we wonder, what would I have done if I had been there? Surely I would have done something to help, we think. What a shame that I wasn’t there to wipe Jesus’ tears. I tell you, Jesus is crucified every moment of every day. That’s why we have a “preferential option for the poor,” but we only generalize with a title like that to make it more accessible. We really have a preferential option to wipe the blood from Lourdes’ leg.

So I didn’t begin this blog entry intending to go into all that… but sometimes it’s best to let flow whatever seems to be coming! Part of a preferential option for the poor is the attempt to walk in solidarity with communities living in poverty. We could talk about the philosophy of solidarity for hours, but I merely want to highlight part of it from a very practical point of view!

Most families here make small amounts of money each day, so most things can be bought in tiny quantities. We try to purchase our food daily in small quantities to practice this type of living as well. To give you an idea of money here, we (my community) came up with the following list. The Peruvian currency is called the Nuevo Sol. The exchange rate right now is 2.77 soles to one dollar, so one sol is about $0.36. Seems like very little, but (thank goodness) a little sol can go a long way!

Things you can buy for 1 nuevo sol

10 medium-sized tomatoes (1 kilo)
¼ kilo of oatmeal (about 4 cups)
¾ kilo of rice (about 5 cups)
1 kabob of anticuchos (beef heart, fire-grilled to order)
10 individually-wrapped Halls
9 pieces of bread (freshly baked twice daily)
5 eggs (gathered from the chickens on the roof)
8 mini bananas
1 order of French fries from the street vendors (cup of oil included, haha)
1 avocado
2 trips to a public restroom (if you want toilet paper)
1 one-way trip downtown in a colectivo (a car with a set route that picks up passengers all along the way)
1 one-way trip to the church in a moto taxi
2 oz. of raw fish for ceviche (Chimbote’s most famous dish, look it up)
1 hair clip
1 glass of freshly-squeezed fruit juice (mango, strawberry, pineapple, etc., take your pick)
3 pieces of poster-sized paper
4 picarones (a delicious fried snack with the texture of a funnel cake but smaller and made with squash and sweet potatoes)
2 roses
2 packs of chicken bouillon (2 cubes each)
2 rolls of toilet paper
20 mini lemons
1 hour of computer time in an internet café
1 ice cream cone (one scoop in a cake cone)
1 2-minute conversation via cell phone
5 small white candles
2 “besos de moza” (“young man’s kiss,” a chocolate filled with marshmallow cream)

Thanks for reading :) Blessings to you all during the holidays! I would love to hear from you!

affirming graces

2010-11-11T14:40:00.000-06:00

I used to be really intimidated by the thought of teaching high school-age youth. I walked into the Confirmation class here less than three months before Confirmation day and introduced myself to a room of 20-some teenagers. Some looked at me with curiosity, others with amusement, the rest with boredom. All made me self-consciously stumble over my words as I spit out some attempt to explain why I was there. A few were interested to know a little more about the U.S., but most paid me little attention. After a few more classes of minimal involvement on my part, the bishop informed us that our Confirmation celebration was moved a month earlier. This provoked a somewhat frantic response from Tino, the Franciscan who leads the class, as he attempted to spread the word to the students, whose telephone numbers and addressed he hadn’t thought to gather beforehand. We held a couple of emergency meetings with no more than ten students in attendance. Tino quickly made a plan for the next two weeks leading up to Confirmation, squeezing a month’s worth of final preparations into little over a week. We lost about half the class who couldn’t commit to the daily activities newly required in order to be confirmed.

As Tino also had little time to prepare, this was an opportunity for me to take on some of the responsibility for our activities, one of which was a weekend retreat now cut down to one Saturday morning. As my Spanish is still developing, we decided to leave the talks to Tino and Sister Sofia and let me lead icebreakers and small group discussion. I would have liked more than the one afternoon I had to prepare, but I was satisfied with the material I found and excited to carry it out! On Saturday morning, we started with the icebreakers, which really helped me as much as it helped them. As I attempted to explain the directions, it became clear that I was lacking a few key words but they were patient and helped me along. Overall, it wasn’t as I imagined it (is it ever?) but it was successful. After a talk by Sofia, the group was really lacking energy, but Tino, who usually fires them up, hadn’t arrived yet. So it was up to me! I pulled out a little “God is good/all the time” chant (in Spanish, of course) to animate them and then put on some music while they broke into groups to come up with three reasons why youth are (or aren’t) important in the Church. We chose this question because one of our goals is to keep them active in the Church even after Confirmation is done, but I had no idea what to expect from their responses. When it came time to present, I was blown away! In turn, they presented statements like, “We are important because we have the ability to change the world” and because “we are the new face of the Church.” In that moment it became clear to me that some of them, at least, understood the importance of their role in the Church and in the world.

Perhaps their preparation could have been fuller with more time, but the urgency of the moment created a sense of camaraderie. I began to see their personalities, learn their names, and have more conversations. At the same time, the plans for developing a youth center were completely stagnant and I was very discouraged. We seemed to lack interest, initiative, and organization, and at times I was questioning my involvement. I had momentum with this small group of students, but Confirmation was soon approaching, and I feared it would all be lost once the class was done. Still, by Confirmation day I was very excited for them and the celebration was successful. Though I had done very little, I was proud that this group of 16-strong followed through on their commitment. Camila, one of the students, came to hug me before she left, and asked if I was going to continue being involved in more activities. I told her yes, we are hoping to plan many more things for the youth. She told me she would be attending mass on Sundays, and asked that I keep her updated. I told her I would, of course, and reminded her of the open invitation to visit my house at any time for whatever reason. She received it very warmly, then she told me she would see me Thursday to plan the retreat that they didn’t get to have! It was a simple exchange, lasting only a few seconds, but within it were the seeds of everything I hope to experience with the youth. As she said, this week we will meet with those who still want to have a retreat. I don’t know how many will show up or what the likelihood is that we will follow through with the idea, but this seedling was an affirming grace from God to press onward, even when it seems fruitless! That we all may hold tight to these moments which keep our hearts burning with hope and energy!

looking around, I am so blessed

2010-11-04T17:45:00.000-05:00

The celebration began last night at midnight as Kelli, Guancarlo and I celebrated the first minutes of my birthday. They sang to me, one in English and one in Spanish, and I blew out a single candle on the delicious pineapple-upside-down cake that Kelli made for us. We shared some Inca Kola while we dug into the cake. My first birthday in Peru!

As I sit here this afternoon listening to Kelli play the guitar and gathering myself together before a full evening, I find myself wanting to share this day not only with my roommates and Peruvian friends, but also with all of you! I’d like to share a short reflection on my birthday that I wrote in my journal yesterday:

“My ambition is not to achieve but to love. Coming on 23 years in this world, many young people from a similar background would be just beginning a career, eyes on opportunities for advancement and promotion, thoughts directed toward completing tasks and projects, emotions swirling around marriage and settling down with a family. And what ambitions am I realizing? I am, or at least I like to think I am, continuing my search for love and truth. But where this search is unlike a typical “ambition” is in the fact that it will never be achieved by looking forward; it can only be achieved by looking around. That is to say, it is only found in the present moment. … The real challenge is to be authentically ME in every moment. By looking at this as a goal to be achieved, I will never be content, and I will never achieve it. In each moment, I must ask, who am I? And then I must lovingly answer with a smile on my face, this is me!”

Tonight I will be attending reconciliation and adoration before Mass, and following that I have Confirmation class. I made some M&M (Chin Chin, as the Peruvian brand is called) cookies to share with my students, and afterward some of our friends are going to come to the house for more pineapple cake and dancing! Kelli, Marcelle, and I made a picnic lunch earlier and took it to the park/zoo/forest to enjoy together. This morning Kelli made me an omelet with toast and coffee before we spent the morning baking! I opened a few wonderful cards and gifts and received several phone calls from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday. Every moment of this day has been uniquely full of joy and celebration! I am so grateful for all that has made this possible.

I would also like to share with you all some of the quote that Kelli wrote inside her gift for me, a Spanish Bible. It was written by aIta Ford, aMaryknoll Sister who was martyred in El Salvador during the Civil War, to her niece on her niece’s birthday in 1980:

“…What I’m saying is, I hope you come to find that which gives life a deep meaning for you … something worth living for, maybe something worth dying for … something that energizes you, enthuses you, enables you to keep moving ahead. I can’t tell you what it might be – that’s for you to find, to choose, to love. I can just encourage you to start looking, and support you in the search…”

That we may all support each other in this search to find that which gives our lives meaning!

home in the moment

2010-11-01T11:01:00.000-05:00

Last week we reflected as a community on the meaning of home for each of us, and we were asked to draw some kind of image or symbol to represent that idea. Perhaps some of you recognize pieces of this drawing! The base image is the view from the bench on my front porch at home in Dodge. I added the tire swing that hung from the tree outside my home in Majagual, Dominican Republic, and then I added the "F" from Cat and Becky's apartment in Omaha. These images also represent places where I have felt completely comfortable, able to sit and enjoy the moment with people I love, to relax, to think, to talk. They are all places where I would go at the end of the day to unwind, content that no more tasks awaited me and able to really immerse in the present moment. My prayer for my time in Peru and for all of you is that we can all find the feeling of home in each moment of every day. I hope we can be aware that each moment is a gift, each moment is exactly where it should be. I have seen in my time so far that Peruvians tend to be a little better at this than me. Life here tends to be taken in much more slowly, with less focus on the goals to be achieved and more focus on celebrating the joy of the moment. That we all may do this a little more!

Peace and joy to you in each moment!

what we do is very little

2010-10-12T11:40:00.000-05:00

It feels like I just wrote a blog entry but it was over two weeks ago! That is a testament to how fast time is going already.

I am still trying to find my place in the community here. I’ve decided to pursue involvement in the parish as my primary service site. Right now, that means supporting existing ministries and getting to know the Franciscans, adult leaders, parents, children, and young people… no small task! I’ve begun attending Confirmation and First Communion classes, both of which I am very excited about. This preliminary involvement will (hopefully) lead to the development or expansion of some of the youth catechesis programming, but it’s hard to say right now what form that will take. It is a slow process as the classes are only once a week, so I am not really busy with it right now, but I want to try to keep my schedule relatively open and flexible so I can adjust as opportunities arise. A very exciting aspect of this for me is that I am learning so much about the church’s role in Peruvian society. This is a topic I have struggled with endlessly in the United States, and I can already see that I will learn much from the church of Chimbote.

This week I will also be going to with a small group to the prison in Cambio Puente, a smaller town a few miles outside Chimbote. The Comisión de Justicia Social (Social Justice Commission) supports of group of women who visit the men and women in the prison every week. I’m doing that on Thursday, and it may become a once- or twice-per-week activity. If not, I am still thinking about spending some time at Lentch (Luz y Esperanza para los Niños Trabajadores de Chimbote/Light and Hope for Child Workers in Chimbote), a ministry founded by one of the Franciscans of our parish. I’ll keep you posted as things unfold!

This weekend we went with Daniel, a friend of Marcela’s who works in Hospice, to Sierra de la Paz, a small mountain overlooking Chimbote. During Holy Week, Chimbotanos make a living-stations-of-the-cross pilgrimage to the chapel about three-fourths of the way up the mountain. Then you can hike the rocky terrain to the top, where there is a large cross. On Sunday we drove up to the chapel and then hiked to the top, where we could see the ocean to the west, some smaller towns dotting the valleys to the north, and Chimbote and the bay to the south. It was beautiful, and so quiet! Looking at the Pacific Ocean and the coast to the north I realized thousands of miles further up Scott (my brother) lives on the same ocean! Pretty crazy.

We also experienced our first Peruvian celebrations this weekend! We were invited to a couple different birthday parties, where to food was absolutely delicious and the music and dancing were abundant! Every Peruvian has a unique dancing style, it seems, so it’s not too intimidating! As much as I feel like I AM moving my hips, though, they still tell me I need to move my hips. Two years is a long time to learn… though it’s probably hopeless. Oh well, still fun!

Especially right now because my activities are still pretty minimal, I feel like I’m floundering a bit. I think I have a tendency to hold myself to some ideal of the perfect missionary because I want to be up to meeting the challenge, but then I am left feeling unsatisfied and critical of myself! I’m also afraid that I’m getting attached to my current slow pace of life… which is good, but I also feel like I should be keeping busier and doing more things. All in finding the balance…

The writings of Dorothy Day have been particularly helpful for me, as they both comfort me in feeling like I’m not “doing” anything and challenge me to meet each person with love. Here’s a bit that I’d like to share:

“What we do is very little. But it is like the little boy with a few loaves and fishes. Christ took that little and increased it. He will do the rest. What we do is so little we may seem to be constantly failing. But so did He fail. He met with apparent failure on the Cross. But unless the seed fall into the earth and die, there is no harvest. And why must we see results? Our work is to sow.”

Sometimes I wonder what people think about us as missionaries. Sometimes they ask why we’re here, what work we’re doing, etc. It’s hard to describe, for sure, especially because it doesn’t really look like we’re doing much. I find myself saying I am here to learn, to share, and to get to know the people. With the Confirmation class the other night they all introduced themselves and said a little bit about why they are preparing for Confirmation. Many of them said that they want to become better Christians. When it was my turn, I said that while I hope to teach them something while I’m here, I also hope to learn from them, to see how God’s love can manifest in different ways and, ultimately, to become a better Christian, or to learn to love more fully. They seemed to be satisfied with that answer. So am I, sometimes.

I hope you all can also continually discover new ways to love each person you encounter, even if it seems like very little.

Paz y esperanza.

program blog

2010-10-06T11:16:00.000-05:00

Please visit the Incarnate Word Missionaries group blog. My Peruvian community and I wrote the latest entry, so you can get a taste of their experience as well as mine!
Incarnate Word Missionaries Blog

I´m doing well! I´m going to try to get starting working the parish, assisting with confirmation and first communion classes, and eventually perhaps starting some sort of youth catechesis program. Next week I will also be starting prison visits a couple days a week. A longer update soon!

As the Franciscans here say, Paz y bien!

Giving up being a caterpillar

2010-09-26T14:34:00.000-05:00

I feel like there is so much to say yet so little to say. First a little business: if you are interested in calling me, feel free (I think it’s pretty cheap on Skype) but don’t leave a message if we don’t answer because we don’t know the password to our voicemail! My schedule is unpredictable, so it’s hard to know when I’ll be in the house. Second, we have a program blog for Incarnate Word Missionaries and this week my community is writing about our experience, so please visit and read! The website is

Since my last post, we have spent most of our time visiting various important places around Chimbote, including many possible service sites. I’ll share some highlights…

I got to accompany a nurse and doctor with the Hospice program (started and run by the sisters) on their home visits one morning and another morning we accompanied Marcela (community mate) on her house visits. She is currently working with a division of hospice that provides in-house care for individuals with chronic health problems, while the nurse and doctor were visiting individuals with terminal illnesses. It was a powerful experience; as much as I like to think I can handle just about anything, it would a long take time for me to be completely comfortable doing the work that Marcela and the other nurses do. Many of the people they visit have large, raw bedsores that need to be cleaned and bandaged. Many of them need to be bathed and have their toenails cleaned and trimmed. Many need help changing their incontinence briefs. To some extent, this is much more normal in Peruvian culture because of greater comfort with the human body here, but it is still very intimate work. I understand that the work of the nurses here is probably similar to that of nurses in the U.S., but many of the material and medicinal comforts available to patients in the U.S. simply don’t fit within the budget of most families here. The gentleness and respect of the nurses is certainly aiding these individuals to live and die with dignity. We also got to talk a bit with their families while they were receiving care, as most of the hospice patients live with a daughter or son. One man we visited lives alone, and I imagine that Marcela’s visits are a great comfort to him.

We also visited la Comisión de Justicia Social (Social Justice Comission), which is an office within the Diocese of Chimbote. They are involved in a variety of projects, including education and discussion surrounding the terrorism of the 80s & 90s and the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s recommendations for ensuring that it never happens again. We attended a workshop with a priest here in Chimbote who is very passionate about eliminating discrimination and actively working to establish a peaceful, just society instead of passively enabling the oppressive structure of the status quo. We also attended a workshop presented by la Comisión in our parish about voting responsibly in the upcoming elections (October 3). With only my limited exposure, it seems to me that the majority of the general population is pretty indifferent toward the political system because they are so jaded by the lack of accountability. It seems that few people actually believe their representatives are going to follow through on their promises. This indifference is complicated by the fact that there is a penalty for not voting, so everybody votes despite disinterest in the outcome. So, there is a great need for voter education and empowerment.

Another possible service site is with the congregation of Sisters of the Good Shepard. They provide various ministries to women working in prostitution, including home visits and tutoring for their children, among other things. We attended a celebration there this weekend to celebrate the life of one of their sisters who was killed by the Shining Path while working in the mountains. It was a great opportunity to meet many women and children and begin to build relationships.

Other opportunities are within the parish, and I am very excited about them. We met Frey Tino, a Franciscan brother in our parish who is involved in la Comisión and also teaches Confirmation classes. We also met Padre Miguel, a Franciscan priest from Germany who runs a program for children who work in the streets. They have a home for children a few minutes outside Chimbote and we will be visiting that ministry on Monday. There are also opportunities to get involved in catechesis for First Communion or for the youth between First Communion and Confirmation, in the youth theater program, in the choirs, etc. On Tuesday we will visit CECOPROS, a communications office within the Diocese, and sometime this week we will visit la Casa de la Mujer (Women’s House) to learn about their ministries.

Besides visiting the various sites, we also spend a lot of time in our community house. I have three community mates: Marcela, who is in her thirties and is beginning her second year as an IWM; Kelli, another new IWM fresh out of undergrad; and Catalina, a volunteer from Catholic Medical Mission Board who recently finished nursing school. We are slowly but surely becoming more comfortable with each other and establishing the foundations of our community.

I’ve also been spending a lot of time in prayer and meditation, hoping to continue to strengthen this throughout my two years here. A joy of this ministry is that we build our own schedule, so we are strongly encouraged the set aside times for personal prayer and reflection in addition to our service sites and community time. This has been invaluable for me! As I have written before, embracing this life is still challenging even though I know it is what I want. There have been moments when I just wonder why I didn’t stay in the U.S., live near the amazing friends that I already have, and work with some of the numerous individuals who are oppressed and marginalized in the U.S. Somehow facing the challenges in the U.S. was so much easier and more comfortable with my support group only a text message or short walk away. I know, though, that the growth and change that comes from stepping beyond that circle of comfort is unimaginable and necessary. I was reminded by a book given to me by a very wise friend, Hope for the Flowers, that in order to reach your true purpose and potential, “you must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” I must understand that while what I had was already good, there is something deeper, some new understanding of God’s love in the world, that awaits me. I have already seen many signs of God’s love through the people here, and I can’t wait to continue to learn and allow that love to flow through me in new, exciting, and sometimes scary ways!

droplets of learning, observations and activities

2010-09-17T17:48:00.001-05:00

I´m sorry I have no pictures with me today but I will post some soon so you can see my new home! Here´s a few tidbits to give you an update...

-The trip from Lima to Chimbote was loooong. A large portion of the highway is getting redone so we were in a charter bus on a dirt road weaving through huge sand dunes, at times beautiful and at times seeming so desolate. The rest of the trip was a highway with the coast on one side and sand dunes on the other, and there were small smatterings of tiny homes interspersed with huge haciendas (farms) of corn, hogs, strawberries, etc. I saw a couple fields being tilled by a single farmer pushing a plow and lots of little fruits being hand-picked. There were also a lot of hog confinements right along the ocean, and I wonder if the waste is going directly into the water, but I don´t know.

-Chimbote and the house are wonderful! Our house is HUGE, and I am settling nicely into my room. I have a very large window that overlooks the street, and this morning I spent several hours cleaning a thick layer of dust of the window and scrubbing the drapes! We wash everything by hand, so it was quite the process, but I love being out on our rooftop washing and hanging clothes. It was a very good time to be alone with my thoughts and the sounds of our neighborhood.

-Most vehicles on the streets are modes of public transportation of a few variations as it is one of the biggest employers in the city, after fishing, of course. We did go down to the ocean and try Chimbote´s famous ceviche, a raw fish dish with garlic and lime and some other garnishes.
-Kelli and I made our first friends! Jefferson, 10, and Nayeli, 9, caught us leaving the house today and we have a playdate scheduled for tomorrow afternoon :)

-Marcela (third community mate) is attempting to teach us how to get everywhere. She is a wonderful guide, but only the busiest streets have signs and the smallest don´t even have names, so it will take a little time. I think I´ve got the ones directly nearest our house down, and I can find my way to the church (San Francisco/Saint Francis.. that´s our parish, but there are many others in the city that we will hopefully visit in time) and the sisters' house.

-We went to Mass last night and it was great. The music was really good, and there were a lot of people there for Mass and even for adoration beforehand... on a week night! Of course the gospel reading was the infamous, "The poor you will always have with you." Bleh! Well then, I guess I will always be with them! It´s a good reading though, lots of room for interpretation ;)

-My goal right now is to soak up, observe, ask questions, meet people, be open. I am working to avoid judgments, conclusions, opinions, preferences. In the next weeks, I hope to establish habits of active days, times for prayer and reflection, earlyish nights and early mornings. We have yet to visit many of the ministries that are available to volunteer with, and we will likely start doing so next week, but the idea is to take is slow. We want to become familiar with the community and have time to discern the options before commiting to a set schedule with certain sites.

-Chimbote is a city. I´m sure our neighborhood and the church community will get smaller once we get to know more people, but right now it´s a little intimidating. There is very little structure, and at times I am tempted to feel entitled to a grand welcome or something. It is far different from entering into a small community like Majagual, where everybody knows you are there. I have found this to be just a little difficult but only for short moments... then I give myself a reality check. I am in Chimbote, Peru! This is finally my life! Praise God. Smile. Enjoy. Be.

I hope you feel as blessed as I do. Peace and smiles to you.

learning to dance to the beat of the Peruvian drum

2010-09-13T21:18:00.001-05:00

Well I've now completed by second complete day in Peru, both of them spent in Lima. It is a fascinating city, a disturbing combination of neatly-trimmed and manicured parks and half-finished cement block homes tightly lining most of the streets. Areas of the city are very attractive, and we enjoyed a nice walk along the ocean and through some nice parks where there are bike paths, young professionals walking their dogs, and diversity. We attracted very little attention in that part of town.

People tell me one of Peru's trademarks is its food, and I find that to be true so far! We've had a couple of traditional Peruvian dishes... pollo a la braza (which is basically fried chicken with french fries), aji de gallina (a delicious chicken sauce eaten over potatoes with a boiled egg and olives), and mazamorra morada with arroz con leche (a sweet purple corn and fruit sauce served with a rice pudding-type thing). I'm loving it, but perhaps my hips aren't! Ha ha.

We have also been getting to know some of the sisters -- Rosaleen, Pilar, Adriana (a novice), Juanita, and others. They seem to be a very vibrant, committed community with a deep, rich history with the people of Peru. I hope to learn much more from them as time progresses!

There are many sites around Lima worth seeing... churches, parks, museums, but I think one of my favorite activities so far was visiting the community of sisters in Lurigancho, a district in east Lima. First of all, it was a wonderful celebration of Rosaleen's birthday, and I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with their community. It was a perhaps profound moment, though, when Adriana was giving us a tour of the house and took us out on their balcony and then up to a higher roof, where we could see the whole neighborhood. I can't describe it, but you can see the picture (and there's a couple more on facebook). The reality in which this community of sisters is submerged cannot be forgotten from this vantage point.

As we were walking to catch a bus to go home from the party, we stopped at a monument there and Rosaleen told us a story. I don't want to shortchange the immensity of the event by describing it briefly here, so please forgive me for not giving it due detail and emotion, but I think it offers a very slight taste of Peru's historical reality and the presence of the sister's and other members of the Church within that reality. Seven people were killed in that place by the police in 1989. One of them was an Incarnate Word sister, the rest were inmates from the prison who escaped in protest of poor living conditions. They took the whole ministry team hostage, and the police opened fire on them (knowing they were unarmed). The sister was the first one shot and killed, and after that they men from the prison put their other hostages on the ground and covered them with their own bodies to protect them; no other hostages were killed. Six of the nine men from the prison were killed. Even after a life hardened by who-knows-what kind of upbringing and life in one of the most notorious prisons in the world, these men had the compassion to protect their hostages. I have yet to reflect more fully on that event.

We have one more day in Lima tomorrow, when we will visit a couple of museums, including a museum of national history, which I am very excited for. Then Wednesday we will head to Chimbote! I may add a brief update on tomorrow's happenings but if not my next post will be from my new home six hours up the coast!

Peace and unrest to you.

At last...

2010-09-11T10:12:00.000-05:00

Well, I am now in Lima, Peru! Our flights yesterday went very well; we had a close call in Mexico City because we didn't realize we had to leave through immigration and customs and reenter through security again but luckily we got to our gate as they were boarding. The flight down was long but without problems. Sadly it was dark so we could not see the ocean as we flew over and landed in Lima, but as we were coming in I could see very tiny lights from boats below that were basically indistinguishable from the stars. It was very cool.

Today we are off to see all the sights of Lima! More soon.

Peace and laughter to you.

a plan unfolds

2010-09-04T11:23:00.002-05:00

I am excited to share with you all that our visas are ready to be picked up in Houston and we've purchased our tickets to Lima. I'll be flying out of San Antonio next Friday, Sept. 10. It's a little hard to believe that after all of our waiting and (attempted) patience our missionary venture to Peru is becoming a reality! I am ready to dive head-first into the radical change and challenge that awaits.

"See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness."
-from "Giving," in The Prophet, by Gibran Khalil Gibran ... read the entire poem here

will we let this hatred continue?

2010-08-30T09:36:00.000-05:00

Last night Sr. Martha Ann invited us to join her at a Ramadan Iftar, the evening meal by which Muslims break their day-long fast. She had been invited to speak about her peacebuilding mission to Iraq to a group of interfaith leaders from San Antonio.

The evening began with a beautiful prayer from the Qur'an and a welcome from the Imam (like the priest in Catholicism). Then he introduced sister Sarwat, the leader of the San Antonio chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR).  A graceful Pakistani woman, her Islamic dress was red and white with a beautiful scarf wrapping her head. She smiled from the podium, but her eyes reflected a deep sadness as she began.

"I could talk about the celebration of Ramadan," she said. "But none of us are really in the mood for celebration."

She continued on to share, instead, her insights and frustrations with perceptions and attitudes toward Muslims in the United States. She spoke of the anger that so many people feel toward the building of mosques and community centers, and reminded us of a taxi driver who was stabbed only days ago because he is Muslim. She pointed out that each day, we hear and see in the media more negative stories of Muslims. She calmly but passionately explained the ignorance of that attitude.

"Every religion has extremists and radicals," she told us. "Why is it that all Muslims are expected to take responsibility for the actions of some fundamentalists who are not practicing the true teachings of Islam anyway? We condemned 9-1-1. We are not happy about the war, either. When I hear about the drone attacks in Pakistan it breaks my heart; I cry myself to sleep. Will we let this hatred continue?"

She showed a slide reporting the religious affiliations claimed by U.S. citizens -- this percent Christian, this percent Muslim, this percent non-believers, etc. "But who cares?" she said. "We are one people. Will we let ourselves be defined and segregated by our religious affiliations?"

I am no expert on Islam. I am no expert on American-Islamic relations. I do know that the rhetoric coming from many voices in our country is driven not by the desire for peace but by fear, hatred, or ignorance. I also see how our wars are perpetuating that message. War does not bring real peace.  It breeds hatred.

I will conclude with a passage that was quoted from the Qur'an, a holy book of Islam. It teaches the same messages of love of neighbor and self taught by Christian scriptures.  I believe more now than ever that we worship one God, we just know that God by different names:

“If anyone kills a person it would be as if he killed the whole humanity: and if anyone saved a life it would be as if he saved the life of the whole humanity" (5:32).

Let us be instruments of peace.

*I took a bit of liberty in quoting Sarwat. This is how I remember what she said.

to serve and to love... is not easy.

2010-08-22T13:26:00.000-05:00

I just brought Mom, Kim, and Ginger to the airport after their weekend visiting me in San Antonio. It is moments like these that make me wonder what I am doing here. Being separated from people I love is so hard. It's not fun, it's not easy, it's not painless. As my brother recently reminded me, though, moments of discomfort are those that remind us of our need for God. When we get too comfortable, we begin to think we are indestructible. We begin to think that we don't need anyone else in our lives! Being in this position reminds me of how vulnerable I am and I will certainly be relying on the spirit of love working through people around me to sustain me through the next two years.

As always, we look to role models for support.... and for you, my family, a prayer to St. Joseph:

Joseph, strengthen in our family every bond of love which unites us --

the marriage bond,

the love of parent and child,

the bonds of mutual love between all.

Joseph, protect our family from every danger from without

and from every threat to peace, unity and harmony within.

Joseph, teach us to be kind and loving towards one another,

careful for one another,

tolerant of one another,

forgiving towards one another.

Joseph, may contentment with our lot and joy in each other abound in our house,

as we seek faithfully to serve and greatly to love God.

Peace and laughter,

Emily

mission is venturing into the heart of another

2010-08-17T23:27:00.000-05:00

A long awaited update, I know. I admit that blogging is a difficult thing, but everything seems at the same time too ordinary to write about and too indescribable for words. Still, I'll do my best. Let me warn you though that it is heavy on spirituality and theory, since that's kind of what we've been doing. If that doesn't interest you, feel free to skim... after orientation I'll have more activities and cultural excitements to describe!

We have just finished day 16 of our orientation, which will end this Friday. I have learned so much about the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word, mission, the church, culture, community, etc. It's been a very rich experience, so let me try to share pieces of what I've learned...

On our second day, Sr. Corine talked to us about CCVI (abbreviation for the congregation) history. If you'd like to learn about it, you can find it on their website, I won't bore you with all the details right now. However, she did make some interesting points about women religious in general, especially the fact that they really led the women's empowerment movement in the US (and still are around the world). She said that women religious are the most educated group of women in the US and that religious women were the first women to hold administrative positions, especially in schools and hospitals. For Mom and Dad, she also talked to us about our parents, and that we need to understand how difficult it is let a child leave home and enter into the unknown, and that "they will be blessed, too, for that."

We spent time with Sr. Rosie and Sr. Tere Maya talking about CCVI spirituality and charism, delving more deeply into discovering who Jesus really is and how the sisters live out their missions. Sr. Tere Maya emphasized that the charism of the congregation is not "historical," but is about recognizing the needs of the times. Their charism statement is beautiful: "That the love of God, as it is made manifest in the Incarnation, be made real and tangible in the world today." The love that Jesus gave us is the love we are called to give each other! By becoming human, God "dignifies our human condition to the level that is is divine." Being fully human is not only good, but divine, of God!

We have also studied a bit of Christology and Ecclesiology, and if you want to hear more about those discussions, you can e-mail me. I don't think it would be the most interesting read! Basically, we are gaining a deeper understanding of what it means to be a missionary in the catholic church today... i.e. building relationships, sharing love, etc.

I should also tell you that my departure date has been delayed to Sept. 9 due to visa delays. Kelli and I will be staying here in San Antonio working with the sisters on some projects and in some classes at the university. It is a little disappointing but I think it will be a really good time! One of our sites in Chimbote will be helping to establish a branch of Women's Global Connection, which you can read about on their website, womensglobalconnection.org. They are doing some research and work with the program here in SA so we will get to learn more about that!

I will leave you with a few reflections from our retreat this past Friday and Saturday. It was really beautiful, at a retreat center on a nice piece of parkland in the city, with a pond, great climbing trees, and a labyrinth. There was one tree overlooking the pond that I climbed a couple times, and I could watch as five or so turtles slowly swam to the shore and rested on the banks. It was really nice to feel like I was escaping from the city. Anyway, here are a few art projects I made there and some explanation to help you understand where I am right now...

This is a door tag to the door of me! We were directed to decorate a door tag with images or words that signified the message we want to radiate to others. I wrote, "Aqui estoy, contigo," which means, "I am here, with you." I first chose "I am here" as a humble offering of myself and my desire to be in relationship, recognizing that I may not be able to help, per say, but that I am offering my presence. I added "contigo" to remove the emphasis from myself and instead emphasize being present to the individual in front of me.

This is an oil crayon image that I drew in response to a reflection on the fact that God really came to earth and really cares about human beings! It spurred from a poem about a little girl telling the Christmas story, which ends with, "And she jumped in the air, whirled round, dove into the sofa and buried her head under the cushion, which is the only proper response to the Good News of Incarnation." So... we were asked to think about our response to this Good News. I went out by the pond and sat observing and meditating and this is what I came up with! It is a spider, just beginning a web. The metaphor is something like this... a spider, when setting out to build a web, has to contribute the materials and energy for the project, but then relies upon the breeze to carry it where it may, and there it begins building. I feel a bit like the spider in midair, trusting the Spirit or love or my deepest desire (whatever you choose to call it) to lead me where it may.

Finally, this is a symbol of my holiness! Or, at least, what my symbol would be if I were to achieve sainthood :) We were asked to imagine that Sr. Bridget Marie (leading the retreat) did a Google search for holiness, and our name popped up. What would the blurb say? What symbol would represent us? So, it's looking at what we hope to become or the way we strive to live.... the symbol is hands (working in the world) holding out a yellow light (warmth, light, self-gift) with a blooming flower (recognizing room for development and learning and growth).

My self-description is this: She never doubts the sincerity of others, but meets each person with gentleness and gratitude. This is not due to naivety, for she has a grounded sense of reality, but due to her belief that as a community and by the grace of God, we can each move beyond our limited sense of the possible into a reality where peace and common dignity triumph.

Ah, and tonight we met with some sisters and some students from the University of the Incarnate Word. The students are all involved in campus ministry leadership, so it was very interesting to hear some of their perspectives. One of the sisters shared about a homily she heard this weekend, in which the priest said the line that titles this entry, so that's where it came from! I think it sums up the last 2 weeks quite well.

So, if you made it all the way through, congratulations and thank you for reading! I apologize for any typos or poor writing... I kind of went straight through and wrote because I knew if I thought about it too much I would end up writing nothing (and I'm too sleepy to proofread!). If you want to know more about anything or if I failed to tell you about something that you want to know, e-mail me! emilyruskamp@gmail.com

Paz, laughter, and all good things,
Emily

San Antone!

2010-08-02T21:20:00.000-05:00

Just a few words to let everyone know that I'm doing very well here in San Antonio! There are currently five of us new missionaries here, and I am really enjoying getting to know the other girls. Today was our first day of orientation, so we haven't done too much yet, but I definitely feel that I am in the right place. We got to hear from the Congregational Coordinator of the Sisters of the Charity of the Incarnate Word today, and she is a spectacular woman. She is the highest-up person in the congregation and still lives in the Visitation House, which is a house of hospitality for women and children who have nowhere to go. She also studies and teaches feminist liberation theology and mujerista theology, which looks at Latina women in the Church. She is very charismatic and I have a very good impression so far of the incarnational spirituality! Here are a few words she shared with us; it is an excerpt from their foundational letter, sent by a bishop to a congregation in Europe requesting their service. I believe it is truly a call to all of us and is, indeed, the call I am seeking to answer!

"Our Lord Jesus Christ, suffering in the persons of a multitude of the sick and infirm of every kind, seeks relief at your hands." -Bishop Claude Marie Dubuis, 1866

Otherwise, it is very hot here in San Antonio and we walked around downtown a bit this afternoon. We are staying at a retreat center very close to downtown and our evenings are very open so it is nice to have lots of time together as a community!

I miss you all and I thank you for keeping me in your prayers!

Peace, laughter, and all good things.

last days in Nebraska

2010-07-31T10:49:00.001-05:00

Today is my last full day in Nebraska. The house is quiet right now, which is the only reason I am spending any time on the computer! I was journaling a bit earlier this morning a few thoughts on leaving and thought I would share a few.

I feel very sad right now about leaving, and I really have no idea how this transition is going to go. The closest thing I have done to this was going to the Dominican Republic (for a mere 4 months.. that looks like nothing now!). The first few days I spent in the DR were very miserable. I was homesick, I missed my family and friends, and I was not feeling good about my decision to go there. It is amazing to me how far I have come since that time. If you had asked me then, I never would have predicted that my life would be quite where it is. Of course, that's probably true about most of us! Still, I am so grateful to all the people whose influence led me here (though maybe my parents would like to have a word with you.. just kidding, they led me here, too!).

A good thing about transitions like these is that they remind me how lucky I am to have the family I do! I love you all so much. I am sad to leave, excited to go, and trusting about everything in between.

in a trustful time

2010-07-23T19:56:00.001-05:00

During the past year I preached so often about the importance of leaving your comfort zone and seeking discomfort. I claimed utmost willingness to seek change and growth when I become comfortable. Well, it seems as though I forgot how painful and difficult that process can actually be. Leaving Creighton, preparing to say goodbye to family and friends, thinking about new housemates and coworkers, preparing mentally and logistically for Peru... it is a lot. Upon my remark that I am in a stressful time, Fr. Gillick quickly corrected me. "Don't say stress," he told me. "Say trust."

So, here I am, in a trusting time. Trusting that the clothes and shoes I bring to Peru will be right. Trusting that my friends won't forget me. Trusting that my family will remain supportive through it all. Trusting that my new housemates will approve of me. Trusting that God will work through me and through those around me in Peru to promote love and peace.

Preparations are coming along. I'm now safely immune to yellow fever, and thanks to my lovely doctor, am aware that I should be careful crossing the roads (because she's not sure if cars stop for pedestrians in Peru) and avoid going outside when the mosquitoes are biting. Her intentions were good, though. I've been reading preparatory materials for orientation, including articles about simplicity, community, and the spirituality of the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word. I will try to share more about that during orientation when we learn more, but I am really enjoying what I'm reading so far. I'm also getting ready to start packing... I've started in my head, and I went to the store to stock up on some items that might be harder to get in Peru, but I haven't actually opened the suitcase yet. Soon.

I am getting nervous about leaving but as Fr. Gillick says (yes, another piece of his wisdom), leaving and grieving lead to receiving. Leaving and grieving is difficult, but it is a necessary component of moving out of the comfort and toward the unknown, where God's grace through the love and presence of other human beings is truly received.

beginnings

2010-07-08T10:58:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my new blog! A brief post about what I'm doing right now...

I'm currently at home in Dodge, in a sort of limbo between Creighton and Peru. On August 1, I'll be heading to San Antonio for orientation before flying to Peru around August 23th. I'll be spending 2 years in Chimbote, Peru as a missionary with Incarnate Word Missionaries. I'm patiently awaiting a packet of information from IWM... when that comes, I'll really start thinking about preparations, packing, etc., and offer a better reflection on my thoughts thus far!

I'm currently reading a collection of writings by Dorothy Day, so I'll let her words serve as my inspiration...

"Let reform come through love of God only, and from that love of God, love of each other..."
-Dorothy Day